Lillah followed leader boy's example and took it upon herself to grab another couple of the bags left for them. She imagined her physical strength would come in handy out in the wilderness, but she didn't have much of anything else to offer. Already, the dark thoughts that had been becoming less and less frequent as she approached the end of the school year were coming back in rapid fire. 

With a bleak gaze, she followed the group to the clearing by the stream. Her and her father had been camping once, the summer before her freshman year at Midcreek High School. They had been far much closer then than they were at the end. He had teased her about her dependence on technology: "you're not bringing your Gameboy either," he had decided, to which she explained that the DS wasn't a Gameboy. In response, he only added her phone to a list of things she wasn't allowed to have in the woods. Regardless, the trip was fun--disconnecting from the stress of everyday life had really helped curb her depression. 

Now it was just amplifying it, and the memories of what once was only hurt. 

She barely noticed when leader boy disappeared to gather firewood--otherwise she would've offered to help in order to blow off some of her steam. With her sweatshirt on, she probably looked rather slim; however, underneath the clothing she had toned, muscular arms that could rival the strength of a young man. Soon enough, tents were being set up, but she only dropped the bags she had carried and sat back, seeing but not really observing as the group worked. The guilt of not helping wouldn't set until much later if at all.

Soon enough, they had a fire going as well, and that gave her something else to stare at for the time being. The night was cool; however, she stayed where she was. She didn't want to bond with these people. [i]I want to leave,[/i] she thought, though she had no where to go. Keeping her eyes on the fire, she wasn't too aware of the commotion going on around her. 

Although she was trying to collect her thoughts, she soon gave up on that: anything she was thinking was a repeat of the night's events or how much she didn't want to be here in any sense of the word. [i]Fuck,[/i] she thought, knowing she had to give herself a distraction. So she reluctantly got up from her seat against the tree and walked over to sit by the fire. She settled down just as the comedian retreated into his tent with his dog and a wink that she didn't catch--not that she was looking out for guys flirting with her anyway. She sat halfway between both Raven and leader boy, her eyes flickering to the Frenchie beside him.

She opened her mouth to speak to the young woman she knew to be Raven, but Mr. Michael DeLorenzo decided to declare a speech to the camp instead. She held in a sigh of annoyance, and managed to stare at him evenly as he spoke. It sounded like he was implying that whatever happened tonight was not some random act of terrorism. She couldn't find the strength to dwell on it in that moment, though, and was distracted by his gestures. [i]Is he seriously crossing himself?[/i] she thought as his speech came to a close, feeling her anger flare up. She didn't have a problem with the religious types, but she did not enjoy the talkative religious types. 

[i]Jesus fucking Christ, just count to ten,[/i] she told herself as she looked back to the fire with furrowed eyebrows and her lips set into a straight line, angry that she was angry. So, she drew in a long breath and exhaled, counting up from one in her mind. When she finally reached ten, she licked her lips and allowed her gaze to wander over the other students. The red head called Raffy stepped up and introduced herself--she seemed to be doing her best to stay smiling. Raven went next. Then the leader boy--Leon--offered his name and that was it. The tomboy followed his example. 

"Lillah," she finally offered in a flat tone, realizing that if she really didn't want to be dead by morning, she'd have to find for herself some reasons to live.