[quote=Dervish]
Alrighty, time to whip out ye olde sheet comb. The weapon thing was addressed, so rock on! The part where the Eviscerator's date comes from the wiki, Sadly, we're two years short of happy fun shotgun times. The problems with these prequel games is sometimes the fun toys haven't been invented yet. First bit of lore wonkiness that stuck out was quarians attending school with other children on the Citadel; this simply would not be the case, if not for the fact that their people are generally seen as pariahs and thieves to the rest of the galactic community and probably wouldn’t want them living in the neighbourhoods (plus, C-Sec harassment. You saw how that one quarian was being treated when the volus accused her of stealing his credit chit in the second game, or when Tali is telling you about that other officer that was basically being a dick to her when she arrived on the Citadel with a bullet wound in the third game), but also because unless a quarian is exiled or voluntarily leaves the Migrant Fleet (not an easy choice, and the vast majority of quarians would never do that), they’re already educated and out on their pilgrimage as young adults where they’re living in various places trying to find something to bring back to the fleet. Imagining quarian children living in the Wards, especially without the proper facilities to really maintain the sanitary environments to keep themselves alive in their suits. There’s probably a handful of quarians who somehow took up residence in the Citadel on their pilgrimage, but they’d be doing their best to be keeping out of trouble so they don’t draw unwanted attention, given the stigma attached to them. Long story short, there’s very little chance that Saseen would have had any quarian friends growing up, let alone met one in her life.Her turian pirate friends would be very suspect, given that turians are conscripted into civil service for 15 years as demonstrated from the Wiki, As you might recall talking to Garrus, turians are “a hard bunch to please”, given how much emphasis on personal responsibility and serving society is placed on the individual. If a turian entered military service, there’s a very real chance that the only way they’re leaving it before their job is done is by being dishonourably discharged and shifted to some menial service job or in jail. If they deserted and became criminals (which obviously they are, being pirates), there’s very little chance that they’d be able to dock at the Citadel without drawing the attention of C-Sec, and keeping in correspondence with Saseen would implicate both of them, especially if their communications were being monitored, which is a real threat for people who might well be known criminals. You might wish to examine this angle or edit it a bit, because turians are rather unforgiving and there’s very little chance Saseen would be able to run off to join a pirate band and then come back without repercussion (if it was implied she ever returned past communicating with her family). So basically, when she leaves to be a pirate, it’s probably meaning she’s not going back home without very convincing fake credentials. The Tuchanka visit probably wouldn’t have occurred for the simple reason that it’s in the krogan DMZ, which his generally very monitored by Citadel authorities and it’s extremely dangerous for off worlders to go there. She probably wouldn’t have been able to go there outside of a clandestine operation. In ME2, Shepard was only welcome because his/ her ties to Wrex, and the one krogan’s girlfriend was invited there personally, and we all know Wrex is a big old softie. Tuchanka’s a very dangerous place, very few people in the right mind would go there willingly, especially without a good reason.Other than that, the story’s very good. :) Like I said, just a few silly little lore things I thought should be addressed. The longish explanations are just so my justifications make sense and where I’m coming from. Overall, I quite like Seseen. And they weren't really mistakes so much as little things that you have to read between the lines with sometimes or recall some obscure conversations from the games to get the complete picture, and there's always the possibility I'm grossly wrong about something, which happens from time to time (Shocking, I know!).
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Thanks for all the info! I'll go ahead and edit out the quarians and Tuchanka. For her Turian friend, she knew him when he was a teenager, having met him when she was in her sixties or so. He aged up, served his entire fifteen years, then got bitter and eventually turned into a criminal, finding a place on the ship that they would eventually serve on together. Sorry for not making that clear! Also, just so you know, she hasn't returned to the Citadel since she left.