In the distance, a man ran.

He did not run to save his hide, nor to spread messages of good or bad, but ran to get this damn [i]voice[/i] out of his head. It was worse than ticks, and he had suffered from those too. He'd learned to run fast in his days, whether it was away or to danger. Even so, with the wind blowing him back he nearly lost his hat, which he kept prominently tucked against his head with a gloved hand. At last, it came into view, the Kakariko village. Or... was it? He didn't see any signs but he had the feeling he was supposed to be here. 

He stopped running and plopped down on the ground, thinking for a moment. Hmm... Perhaps it would be wise to ask a local? He scratched his chin beneath his mask. His eyes just happened to be drifting, when he caught sight of a sign, stating that fresh fish was for sale. His belly churned at the thought that his last fish had spoiled before he had the chance to eat it, and now he was only left with bread and roots for his personal item. Yes, a man requires MEAT!

He dashed over in a flash to the stand which sold fresh fish, not even bothering to notice how much green everyone was in, nor the festivities. His mouth watered at the idea of having fish once more. He went to ask the person working at the counter for some, but then he noticed [i]her[/i]. 

A beautiful Hylian girl with red hair so fine it caressed her olive skin like she were a statue, resting in the shade. With hearts in his eyes, he leaped over the counter and scooped her up bridal style into his arms, moving his mask up to show his own face... he romantically said to her:

"Eeeeyyy Giiirl~
Lookin so hot 
Ya don't even know
Stole me out right on the spot

I'ma be honest 
You makin' me trip
With them perky breasts 
and chunky hips~

Ya don't even know
How much I wan' show 
Make my heart go
Click-clack-boom
Yeah?"

Damn he was good.