In short, no, Bloodwolf. Your character is denied. Don't get me wrong, you are still free to revise the character or post a new one, but right now Samuel Hellrin is rejected. Here are the issues I have with him (Wayward may chime in with more, at some point): 1. Being a half-demon. There aren't really any demons in the KHverse. If you had been able to validate your demonic heritage through some sort of canon (connecting it to a Final Fantasy world, perhaps) or something similar, we might be able to work with you, but for now I take issue with it. 2. No internal consistency. The history first states that Samuel's mother is a demon, granting him his half-demon heritage. Then it says that, on the brink of death, Samuel makes a pact with a demon for eternal life (see part 3 of this breakdown). Later, in the "Notes" section it says that Samuel's [i]father[/i] made a pact with a demon which is why he's part demon. Which is it? 3. Eternal life. Just, no. I'm not sure if you mean that Samuel would not age/die of natural causes or if he cannot be killed, but either way that's just not okay. 4. Clarity. Many of the details are hazy, relating to issue 2. Perhaps a more in-depth History would be helpful, or even just a more clear version of what is already presented. One of the main issues is your Abilities section. Do you see how everyone else has their abilities listed in such a way that they are analogous to Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts abilities (except the Jest, but his long-winded paragraphs basically boil down to him not knowing any particular spells)? I would prefer something like that, in list format, with a bit more clarity. Your character is adept at using fire magic; in what ways might he use it? Is it similar to the [i]Fire[/i] spell from Kingdom Hearts? 5. Samuel's personality. The idea of a cold, uncaring person who fights for the strong is totally fine, but you directly paraphrased Sin's character Isadora's personality in a number of instances: Sin: "She would likely appear to others as a cold, distant type of person due to her icy vibe, which is quite accurate." You: "A cold and somewhat distance man" Sin: "She rarely speaks unless she has something important to contribute--she prefers observing others over engaging with them nine times out of ten." You: "Samuel can be consider Unsociable as well considering he does not often speak a lot unless he has to." Sin: " She views fellow humans as simply being in her way or just unnecessary." You: "He become cold and cruel, showing no mercy to friend or foe as he always says 'Don't get in my way.'" I understand that these are relatively common traits among more evil characters, but it seems like you just copied her personality, even down to some of the wording. 6. 16 years of apprenticeship. This is a personal qualm that doesn't necessarily need to be changed. On a personal level, it doesn't make sense that your character wouldn't have ascended to masterhood within this time period. I'm not even sure if you planned for him to [i]be[/i] an apprentice, or if you just wanted to make a random dark character, but your History suggests he was taken in by Axeus. ---- If you wish to participate in the RP, please rectify these details and re-submit your character, or submit a new one. If you'd like some help, I'm more than willing to give it, just shoot me a PM.