Oohhh..did Jax have to control himself. First she put her arms around him. He wanted so badly to take hold of her. Really wrap his arms around her even tighter than he had at the dance. He wanted to push his face in her hair and his lips on her neck. Damn, he wanted that. But he didn't want her to stop giggling either. And for one of the few times, or were there more and more of them lately, he fought all of those feeling he had and thought with his head. This wasn’t about what he wanted. This was more. This about being with her and not fucking things up. He knew as much as he wanted to kiss her he didn’t want her cold eyes back. This was not the time to answer his needs but instead think of her. She thinks she is broken. As low as he was, and Jax thought he was, he couldn’t take advantage of that low point even if he wanted to. The real reason why was because he liked her. He really liked her. He cared about what she thought of him. How dangerous was that?

Oh boy, talk about broken, Jax was sure when this was said and done he would be in pieces.

But, right now, after he managed not to push against her and kiss her, he was having a good time. And she just added more.

“Books and booze!” He stood up quickly afraid if he sat there he would give in to his desires. “Brilliant!” He stood in his most dramatic stand with one arm out to his front like those poets and actors do and one hand over his heart. Jax cleared his throat and in a low loud voice he recited:

How he heard the ancient helmsman
Chant a song so wild and clear,
That the sailing sea-bird slowly
Poised upon the mast to hear,

Till his soul was full of longing,
And he cried, with impulse strong,—
“Helmsman! for the love of heaven,
Teach me, too, that wondrous song!”*

He let the feeling wash over him. Then he turned to Nicki and smiled reaching for her hand. He hadn’t meant to show her that but then, he was doing so many things he didn’t think he would or should. To cover his doubt he grinned and pulled her up off the seat. 

When he wasn’t sure he often spoke, “And balls? You tease me unmercifully.” He had to keep control. It was the showing part that shook his resolve. Here in the night scent she should not offer that to him. She shouldn’t be here in the moonlight with the Night Blooms. Not with him. Not with flashes of poetry and promises of books. He wanted to keep her with him but he knew he better lighten his own arousal or he would mess up what he wanted even more. So he tied to spin her off the seat like a dance and then turn to leave toward the promise, books, booze, and balls. Away from the scent of the flowers and the lure of her arms.

“And though I know, as broken as you say, you are not a gambler, or a very good one.” He had to ramble on because his mouth still wanted to kiss her and if he yarmer maybe he wouldn’t. “Protest as you wish, I played that card game.” He teased her with a smile that felt natural. “I like a wager or two. So I will bet you one silver coin you will slur your speech before I.”

He laughed and while walking holding her hand still he had to add, “I am good with my mouth.” My kisses he so wanted to add but Jax was full of control. He used his other hand to point into his opened mouth and with a mumble, because he kept his mouth open as he spoke, “Cause, my feets have been in their many times.”

* "The Secret of the Sea” by 
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (from Seaside and Fireside, 1850)