It was overcast. That's how it usually was in Britain, but this time it was a bit darker. The ash of the atomic bombs covered the sky, darkening it even further. It was beginning to cover everything in sight, making the whole land a dark, deep black color.

Terry looked up from his stream of sewage. As his vision came back to normal, the first thing he saw was an ugly creature lying next to him. It looked to be some sort of squirrel, it's tail twitching about. Terry picked it up and tried to brush it off, only to miscalculate his strength and crush the poor animal's head against the ground.

Almost immediately, Terry noticed the obstruction that his suit jacket had placed on his arm movement. He ripped off the arms of his jacket, and threw one to the side. The other one he wrapped around his head like a bandana. His reasoning for this was nonexistent. Then, he smeared the blood from the squirrel onto the front of the sleeve wrapped around his head in a sort of "U" shape. There was no reasoning for this either. Terry shoved the squirrel into his front pocket and began his walk towards the village.

As he approached, he noticed a sign with the town's name on it. Terry was having some trouble reading it, so he took a closer look and wiped off the ash.
Towncastershire
Population: 208 190 164
Terry was excited to see what would await him in the village of Towncastershire. He began to walk past the sign and down the road to see what he would find.

Rick awakened to a throbbing sensation against his left ear and a slight tingling sensation against his upper inner thigh. He wondered why, but before he could answer his own seemingly rhetorical question, he saw a small, cute doe; just frolicking through the meadow that Rick had fallen asleep to. It was a pleasant and wondrous sight; a simple innocence protected in the sea of damnation. Rick gazed upon the majestic creature not three feet away from his for just a moment--just to embrace his inner humanity.

The then proceeded to grab the doe's filthy leg and smash his face in with a rock.

The kill was fresh today.

---

After enjoying the taste of raw deer, Rick walked over to the edge of the meadow, and found that a sign had been erected not far from here. He made his way over; careful to float over the sewage drain nearby.

The sign read as this:

Towncastershire
Population: 208 190 164

Rick, gazing ahead to the town in question, as well as noting the oddly-shaped man heading into town both covered in sewage, torn jacket, and squirrel blood, and looked back at the sign. Using a small, focused beam of lightning from his fingertips, Rick carved a slash through the 164 and carved, a 166 in it's place. Although, he considered changing it to a 165 because the poor fellow in front of him looked like he would embrace the icy hand of death as a favor.

Rick marched onward; cuddly doe blood smeared from his mouth and down his neck--as well as on his hands.

A great multitude of dust flew from the pages of the old book as Hinge closed it shut. "So it must be true," he said. "I am the human incarnate of Luel". A song bird landed on the broken window pane of the second story of the Towncastershire library where Hinge sat, and sang almost in approval. With this Hinge smiled and began to recount how he came here after days of wandering in the wilderness with only strange memories to guide him. Memories of a "Tim" without great curled horns and this long streaked beard, who knew only sadness and wandering.

He turned to the charred corpse of the former librarian with its mouth still agape and spoke, "Oh fair Melody, it was not entirely your fault for your fate. For you were unaware,as was I, that it was no mere man you were offending but a proper Celtic god! Now that I know who I am, I must take it upon myself to-" he suddenly found himself interrupted and frustrated by the songbirds chirps. Feeling that he was on a role though he continued, "I must take it upon myself to wander these lands and guide my people. To comfort them in their sorrow and to-" again the song bird chose to interrupt Hinge's glorious soliloquy. His expression darkened and his words grew sharp. "To right their wrongs and to make tough decisions as they are required by any great-" As the song bird sang it's last notes, Hinges patience tore in half.

"SHUT UP YOU FILTHY FUCKING BIRD YOUR GOD IS SPEAKING!", Hinge thundered as he thrust his arms before him and shot scorching flame forth from his finger tips, consuming both the song bird and library wall alike.

As the library burned down around him, Hinge took one last look out the window and saw two people coming into the village, one trailing behind the other. "Rovers", thought Hinge. " I must aquatint myself properly this time as their rightful friend and lord." Hinge smiled and plucked on his whiskers as he began down the stairs, but then frowned as a thought came over him. "I certainly hope these are agreeable people, I do so hate having to reduce the population number on that infernal sign."

Terry stopped in the middle of the road, and stumbled a little, because he didn't prepare himself to stop. He slowly stumbled around to eventually turn his body to face the direction of some sort of loud scratching noise. Terry reached into his pocket and pulled out his squirrel, very slowly and eagerly. Once again, he knocked himself off-balance.

The "well-dressed" man began to wildly beat the squirrel on the cobblestone, as if beginning a tribal dance.

The reasoning behind this was unknown.

Rick's slow stalk against the mentally handicapped man came to a stop--as said man in front of him seem to completely let go of his last grasp on the human condition and begin to beat a decent meal against the ground.

As typically expected of a man in Rick's situation, he couldn't figure out what in God's name was happening in front of him.

Rick closed the gap in between to two strangers and grabbed the stupid man with his left hand; picking him up and holding the man up with his pulsing muscular arm, ala Darth Vader-style.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU STUPID DEGENERATE EXCUSE FOR A FUNCTIONAL CREATURE?!" Rick literally screamed at the top of his lungs into the insane man's face; spitting fresh doe blood onto the man as well.

Rick had half a mind to rip the man's head off where he stood.

Terry shoved the squirrel back into his pocket just as the strange man had grappled him. Terror ripped through Terry like a knife through butter. Almost immediately a sense of curiosity came upon him, and he was no longer scared.

"There isn't any sort of pots in the pea pod, is there?" Terry said calmly. "I'm Terry. I'm a man, just-" Terry paused to sigh. "Just looking for his place in life. And you? Who are you?"

Terry fell limp in the man's grasp.

It was at this moment that Hinge chose to make his appearance. He addressed the pair in the same voice a mayor might use addressing a large crowd. "Greetings," he said as he strolled up with is arms and staff outstretched. "I realize you are having a tender moment of embrace here, and I do wish you two the best, but I think I had ought to indroduce myself if you are coming into this fair village. I am Hinge the human incarnate of the god Leul, protector of the valiant and scorcher of the wicked."

He crossed his arms and looked off into the distance for a moment for dramatic effect before looking back down on the two and saying, "And who might you two be?"

Iyana walks upon the scene completely confused. So confused, she just stand there staring at this odd trio with her mouth slightly open. A few minutes pass and she realizes her mouth is open so she shuts it. Iyana takes a few steps forward to see the faces of these men. Maybe, she thinks, maybe one of these lads might be THE one.

Rick dropped the "man" now to the floor as the older gentleman approached him. His age suggested wise counsel and power; a person capable of great acts of valor and integrity. Perhaps this was what Rick had been looking for; someone willing to make sense of this world. Perhaps, willing to journey to Scotland--find his old friends. Perhaps the old man knew of other worthy travelers milling about the village.

"I am Hinge, the human incarnate of the god Leul..." The old man rambled on.

'Well...' Rick thought, 'I don't think I've been this wrong in a while. Perhaps this Terry character was more sane than I had pinned him for.'

"Well," Rick stuttered. He was almost surprised to find this much stupid in one location. "I'm Rick."

Rick gazed over to the woman, who had just walked into the area. She seemed as confused now as he was.

"I was hoping," He said to both Hinge the total psychopath as well as the newer woman "Someone could show me around the village."

Rick's hair-trigger had been reset based on the fact that almost everyone here was out of their freaking minds.

"Beep boop. Beep beep boop! ... clackity-clackity-clack!" Echoed about the trash bin--er command center --Gehena was occupying. The place appeared like a small electronics chop shop with various small appliances and personal electronics scattered about like they had met the analog electronic Hanibal Lecter. Indecipherably cute or creepy the little robot was as he sat there ham-fistedly clacking on a dismembered cellphone keyboard regardless of the passing time. "Beep boop boooooop!" The little screw ball flexed his new accordion elbow joint before picking up an unreasonably hacked FemurPastry(tm) ear bud, opening the side of his head, and shoving the ear bud in after scrambling some wires. "Me-me-me! Do-ray-me!...beep... Yeehaw! Balls deep in a hog firing a rifle in the air bitchez!! ...boop" seemingly said by what sounded like an auto-tuned young boy. "Phonetic analysis of the Engrrish language complete." Gehena stated, wondering why the word "smile" was lingering in his cognitive software.

--"FILTHY FUCKING BIRD!" Somebody erupted from outside... "Sensors indicate that there is an inordinate amount of rapid oxidation and heat transfer going on approximately 7m away." Gehena paused and fumbled through his junky pit command center for a bit, then triumphantly held up a hideous cartoon panda USB 38.0 flashdrive "Wanna check it out Tiddy? Dooo yah?!" He shouted excitedly as he scrambled up some miscellaneous electronic and mechanical parts, dumped the mess in a Nuka-Cola can along with Tiddy, slung the can over his shoulders like a back pack with an elastic hair band and clambered out of his "mighty palace" using only his body--that was mostly rebuilt from a series of unfortunate toasters and children's toys--ready to FUCK SHIT UP IN THE NAME OF TRUE KOREA explore a whole new world.

Iyana smiles a bit once she realizes that one of her possible "Mr.Right"s is an old man. There is one man in a sleeveless top and his arms look alright, not "Mr. Right" material, but the heart should not be swayed by such things as arms. Next to him, is a second man who looks just as confused as she is, from where she is are standing his ass looks fine as hell. Iyana thinks about touching it, just a pat.
"I was hoping, someone could show me around the village."
Shocked Mr. Fine Ass even spoke in her general direction, Iyana blushes a bit, says a quick prayer for courage and replies "Welllll, I'm new here too. Sooo there isn't much I can do for you."

Hinge turns to the new woman and greets her particularly warmly, "Why hello there, you're a fair colleen aren't you? In case you hadn't heard earlier I am Hinge, human incarnate of Leul. This is Rick and I'm afraid I do not know the name of his beloved there. However this," he gestured grandly, "is Towncastershire. It's not much I'm afraid. Merely a small plot of land with a few scattered shops and a dozen or so houses, minus a library as of today. The people aren't to friendly either I'm afraid."

He turned over his shoulder and began shouting at the complacent little village. "THE PEOPLE ARE JUST A BUNCH OF SHEEP REALLY, WHO RUN AT THE FIRST SIGHT OF FIRE AND REFUSE TO SHARE THEIR FOOD." He turned back towards the group and redressed, "They're all skittish really, locking themselves away in bomb shelters and fretting over some villan called "Korea", and "fallout" and some other nonsense. I'm sorry my dear but I don't believe I've been graced with your name?"

"Oh, My name is Iyana, Iyana Arness. It is real nice to meet allll of y'all" she cheers as she looks around the group.
She is glad to know that Hinge is a rather nice person instead of some freak of nature, and that Mr. Fine Ass has an actual name. Rick... Rick... she thinks to herself, Rick Fine Ass. That has a ring to it. Iyana chuckles to herself, in spite of how awful that was. This third person, though, Iyana cannot stop looking at his arms. Dear God, bless him and his arms. She snaps back to reality.
"Korea? Bomb Shelters? Fallout? Is that what happened to the town back there?" she points. Despite being confused again, Iyana now has a little pep in her step as she now has a group of friends to call her own.

"That's fine then," He said to the girl, who had introduced herself as Iyana; who seemed quite happy for someone in the friggin' apocalypse. Oh well, some people are cheerful enough to be content. Others, like Rick, survived.

Rick looked around, quite confused at the unfolding events in front of him. Many people--most of them crazy--all introducing themselves as gods or madman.

Rick looked to Hinge and tried very hard to address him as a man that was not insane.

"Hinge, you don't know about Korea? That's sort of the reason we're all in this mess..."

'And probably how you think you're a god of some kind, you damn old freak.' Rick thought to himself.

"Anyways, I was just looking for shelter and food. Hopefully someone around here has an inn?" Rick said, as he silently hoped he could get a room as far away from the crazy ones as possible; specifically Hinge and Terry.

"Oh, I'm Terry!"

Terry awkwardly reached his hand out in the general direction of Hinge and Lyana as to shake their hands, and after leaving his hand there for some time after waiting, he dropped to to the ground, yelling in pain as his arm hit the smashed cobblestone. After a few moments of tending to his hand, Terry clambered up from the road and onto his feet.

"Follow your nose, for the fruity taste that shows!" He said, as his arm flew up from his side and began to point deeper into town. He began to march in the direction he was pointing. "Let's goooooooooooooo!" he shouted as he continued marching.

It was at that time that a young boy had run out from an alleyway and approached Terry.

"Food, sir! Please!" begged the boy. Terry took one look at the boy and drunkenly swung his arm at him, knocking him to the ground. Terry continued on, whistling as he went.

Hinge watched Terry run down the path for a bit before turning back to Rick and saying, " Hmmmm you certainly keep strange company Rick. As for and inn there's a small "bed and breakfast", I think they're calling it just on the other side of town. But as for Korea I haven't the slightest, these bloody towns people won't either speak up when you ask questions, or won't stop screaming when you give them a trial by fire. However I have no fear of this Korea for if I find him, I shall strike him down with strength unmatched."

As he said his last he struck a most gallant and heroic pose for the travelers and stood there gazing off for sometime before remembering his courtesies. " So ummmmm, where are you all off too?"

Well that was strange..ly adorable, Iyana says to herself. She stands there having no idea what to do, she hears the poor boy crying and sees this hero in front of her. And now she is faced with a question. Town is a wonderful place!!
"I plannnn on following Terry for a bit, there is just something about his arms that just attracts my gaze." She smiles and walks towards Terry.
When she passes the poor boy on the ground she kneels down, places a hand on his head, looks up to the sky and prays, "Dear Lordd above, bless this brother of mine, bless this son of yours, but mostly bless his face because that slap was great. AAAmen."

"Did someone say follow your nose"? Lolda, a random nose on the floor says. He begins to float suddenly, slapping himself onto Terry's face. "I aspire to be a great wizard like Daniel Radcliffe! WOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." Lolda shouts as his skin merges with Terry's cheek.

Terry now has another nose on his right cheek.

Rick just stood in place; utterly in shock at the absolutely insane show of complete psychotic behavior demonstrated by absolutely everyone present except for himself.

"Well, I've had about enough crazy for a few years." Rick said, and left the scene entirely.

Rick walked down the street and into the bed and breakfast. Behind the counter was, of course, a big old hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. This now didn't surprise the massive man in the slightest.

"I need a room." Rick said in a gruff voice.

The hermaphrodite spoke in a weird tone and only in lyrics from Beatles songs. "It's been a hard day's night." He/She said. "And I've been working like a dog."

Rick shrugged. "Uh--interesting--so about that room...."

The hermaphrodite smiled. "Sargent Pepper's Lonely!" He/She screamed, and pointed it's finger to a man in a sergeant's outfit.

Rick looked back at the hideous creature. "So, uh, if I sit over there and talk to Sergeant Pepper, you'll let me have a room?"

"I say, go go go!" The hermaphrodite screamed as it handed Rick a ticket. Rick shrugged and sat in the lobby with Sergeant Pepper. Soon, however, the Sergeant had looked out the window at the people Rick had met earlier, and was so disturbed he blew his brains out with a revolver, right there.

"Bloody Hell!" Rick screamed at the explosion. Next to him, the recently-deceased Pepper now slouched in his chair with only half his face left. Blood was all over the walls. Rick got a waiter to bring him the strongest beverage they had and started drinking.

"What the hell is wrong with this town?" He asked himself. Sergeant Pepper's body slammed down onto the table.

"Well that's lovely." said Terry as he strolled into the inn. "I do love a good nose on my cheek! I'll call you Henry."

Terry climbed on top of the barkeep's counter and shouted in an incomprehensible language of some sort, only stopping to take his breath. After nearly 30 seconds of continued shouting, Terry stopped and pointed to his new nose.

"This is Henry! Come on everyone, raise your glasses!" Terry raised a bottle of Scotch. "To Henry!"

Terry drank the whole bottle in one swig. When he had finished, Terry fell to the floor and laid still. A goofy grin came upon his face as he laid down on his belly. It wasn't long before a posh, moustached man wearing a suit and wielding a cane had approached him, kicking his leg.

"Are you alright there, chap?" he asked. "DOCTOR! Is there a doctor in here?" He began to ask various people in the bar, saying "Anyone?" to every person he saw.