@automaton So there's something I'm missing, probably my fault, what does NHS stand for? Also you don't need to wrestle with the 3rd person limited to make it be 3rd person omniscient. Just write what happens and your character's personality and feelings will gradually become clear without effort. Interact with other players and they will ask your character questions and you will be able to explain what you feel without having to constantly imply it.

@all The mage who is not riddled with taint may have sensed the radiation of magic emanating from the golem. I'll give you a chance to respond to it before I throw NPC mages or templar in his direction because it would be a good opportunity to start binding together PCs into something resembling a coherent group.