Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Inuyasha
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Inuyasha 𝙫𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣

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Okay, I understand.
I think it would make more sense if the kids did in fact get a few burns off on him, and then after all that was done he went insane. And you get powers after you go insane. If you make this edit I will go ahead and approve.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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I am making a CS, but it might take me a while.... XD
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Inuyasha
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DaDrummer676 said
I am making a CS, but it might take me a while.... XD


Take your time, we've got plenty of time here. Got any specific ideas?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DemntedGrin
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I typed up a cs then hit refresh. *Cries*
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DemntedGrin
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DemntedGrin

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Name: The character has been referred to as Subject 0 Thus Zero is her name. (Originally of the Aristocratic family McNeil)

Appearance:
Anything different from picture above?: Underneath her clothes she's covered in scars from the experiments and augments she was forced to suffer with.

Magic Power: Cryomancer, but rather than the since of cooling water in the atmosphere she slow the reaction of molecules around her. Allowing her the ability to flash freeze anything her body is in contact with. The draw back is larger objects or moving ones are something that require focus.

How he/she became insane: She became insane after the life she was forced to lead was all for the sake of becoming a trophy....

Insanity Traits: Zero is quite controlled, Her emotions are kept ever in check...to A disturbing degree. She is almost a machine, but when things manage to rile her temperature drops allowing her to flash freeze most things she comes into contact with. The effect intensifies the more distraught or angry she becomes.

Country of origin: Island off in the Pacific

Backstory/History: An experiment involving pedigree and solitude made Zero the ideal guard/wife of a influential computer tycoon. As she came of age he was showing her off at a gathering of his closest partners. All was well till he told Zero of her victory, how she killed many like herself in order to be his....As she was not a person...She was his pet....Zero showed that her pale skin was not just because of her perfect exposure to the right amount of sun. As her hand plunged into her would be husbands abdomen, the rapidly dropping temperature allowed her to puncture it as if it nothing more than tissue paper. Rather than blood spilling forth it was shards of innards as his body froze out wards from the point of impact. The room fled in terror, Zero simply sat down and finished her tea.

Personality: Mono-dimensional, Abrupt, Hidden.

How long has your character been in Smile Asylum?: As her mind is of a curious mixed maturity it was impossible to truly hold her accountable for her crimes, but her ,while rare, outburst it was impossible to simply try and rehabilitate her. After much debate she has ended up at smile only a week prior to the events of present.
Trinkets: A tie.

critique away.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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I was thinking about something along the lines ons super intelligence/psychic
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Inuyasha
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DemntedGrin said
Name: The character has been referred to as Subject 0 Thus Zero is her name. Appearance: Anything different from picture above?: Underneath her clothes she's covered in scars from the experiments and augments she was forced to suffer with. Magic Power: Cryomancer, but rather than the since of cooling water in the atmosphere she slow the reaction of molecules around her. Allowing her the ability to flash freeze anything her body is in contact with. The draw back is larger objects or moving ones are something that require focus. How he/she became insane: She became insane after the life she was forced to lead was all for the sake of becoming a trophy.... Insanity Traits: What does insanity entail for your character? Does he have an alter ego? Does he have an obsession with a certain object? Things like that. Country of origin: Zero has no value of life, she cares only about her own survival. She is emotionally stunted, her brain decides how she should look to imitate the feeling others would have in the situation but she herself doesn't grasp what she's supposed to feel. Touching her can end in a violent out burst, unless she is tied to a bed she could very well get a piece of whoever it was.Backstory/History: Her back story is long and elaborate, but at the end of the experiment she had been trained and edict and dressed as if a doll. Upon the dinner in which she was to be deemed a success by the man in charge of the project she acted as if to kiss his cheek before biting into his neck to pull lose his Carotid. "Be careful Domesticating animals never really works doctor....." She sat down in her seat and resumed her meal. Personality: Curious,Cold,bored How long has your character been in Smile Asylum?: A fresh arrival after the nation is lost in debate on how to handle the situation. Her crimes can not be held against her considering her upbringing but she has still killed several people with or without her "gift" Trinkets: A tie, and .....a stuffed whelping doll.critique away.


Can you specify what "expirement she was in?"
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shiinen
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I'll make a CS soon. I've been staring at it for a long while now kinda thinking "...WAT DO." ...

Hi anyways. <3
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by WatermelonTango
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You need to space out your words a little bit. Just hit enter and separate your sentences so that each point is clear. It'll make your CS a bit easier to read and cause less eye strain.

As for the history itself, it doesn't really make much sense to me. These abilities everyone haven't been inserted into them, it's just something that "triggers" when their mind looses grip with their sanity. But I do like your premise. Feel free to disregard my suggestions, but maybe the doctor's experiments weren't to give her powers, but to attempt to make the "perfect girl". Maybe he would force plastic surgery on your character and put you through strict lessons of etiquette. And whenever you refused to cooperate he would punish you by locking in you a freezer for several hours until you were willing to cooperate. This over the course of weeks or months could easily push somebody over the edge. I also think it would tie the theme together nicely if you used your ice powers to kill him but that's inserting myself a bit too much into your work methinks.

But remember that I'm not the GM, so the final say is entirely up to Inuyasha.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by OtomostheCrazy
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OtomostheCrazy The Impatient Patience of Fulfilled Nothingness

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Shiinen said
I'll make a CS soon. I've been staring at it for a long while now kinda thinking "...WAT DO." ...Hi anyways. <3


Hey Shiinen. You think Seri's gonna get better anytime soon?
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OtomostheCrazy said
Hey Shiinen. You think Seri's gonna get better anytime soon?


I dunno. But I do hope so. ;w; I've kinda been at a loss of posting on the Persona thread x.x
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by OtomostheCrazy
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OtomostheCrazy The Impatient Patience of Fulfilled Nothingness

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Shiinen said
I dunno. But I do hope so. ;w; I've kinda been at a loss of posting on the Persona thread x.x


You vould interact with my character in the meantime, but since you're making a CS for this, you can hold it off if you want. I could help out if you're stuck oj anything.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DemntedGrin
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Is that easier on the eyes?
Did I miss the persona thread cut off q.q
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by OtomostheCrazy
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OtomostheCrazy The Impatient Patience of Fulfilled Nothingness

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DemntedGrin said
Is that easier on the eyes?Did I miss the persona thread cut off q.q


For the persona thread, no, but I don't know of the Arcana you want is taken or not.

Also in your CS for here, you forgot to put in the insanity traits
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DemntedGrin
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Erp I missed up when I retyped it sorry *straightens*
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Shiinen
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OtomostheCrazy said
You vould interact with my character in the meantime, but since you're making a CS for this, you can hold it off if you want. I could help out if you're stuck oj anything.


I'll post in a bit. I've been a hot mess trying to get all my stuff replied to lately. My dad's in the hospital again. x.x Anyways, I think I have what I want figured out. Gonna PM an idea or two to ya.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by OtomostheCrazy
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OtomostheCrazy The Impatient Patience of Fulfilled Nothingness

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Yokay
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Inuyasha
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Shiinen said
I dunno. But I do hope so. ;w; I've kinda been at a loss of posting on the Persona thread x.x


Hiya! Also dont talk about other RPS here... makes me jealousssss
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Inuyasha
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WatermelonTango said
You need to space out your words a little bit. Just hit enter and separate your sentences so that each point is clear. It'll make your CS a bit easier to read and cause less eye strain. As for the history itself, it doesn't really make much sense to me. These abilities everyone haven't been inserted into them, it's just something that "triggers" when their mind looses grip with their sanity. But I do like your premise. Feel free to disregard my suggestions, but maybe the doctor's experiments weren't to give her powers, but to attempt to make the "perfect girl". Maybe he would force plastic surgery on your character and put you through strict lessons of etiquette. And whenever you refused to cooperate he would punish you by locking in you a freezer for several hours until you were willing to cooperate. This over the course of weeks or months could easily push somebody over the edge. I also think it would tie the theme together nicely if you used your ice powers to kill him but that's inserting myself a bit too much into your work methinks.But remember that I'm not the GM, so the final say is entirely up to Inuyasha.


Yeah, powers have to do something with origin of insanity.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DemntedGrin
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Ill rework it.
*Btw* Thank you for the suggestion on how to do a revision instead of tearing me down, I appreciate it, and will use a lot of your suggested idea in the revision as it still gets the character across.
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