[quote=Silver Fox]
STUFF
[/quote]
Doesn't look to bad to me, there's something somewhat missing though, cant put my finger on it, but it'll come to me.
You also need to (re-)read the op post.

Separate note. Do I have the only male char? Jezus. I can see shenanigans already. 
One more player and I'll start the IC. Also, you'll need to work out who your dorming with.