"Yeah..." 

The words coming out mumbled between the cigarette he had placed into his mouth as he once again fished around in his jacket for his lighter. A hand finally coming into contact with cold metal laced it's fingers around the small cylindrical object bringing it up to his mouth and in one swift motion brought a flame into existence. Unlike his compatriot who claimed to smoke his fancy electrical device out of habit more than anything else Ueda would be lying if he said if he did it for fun or to look cool anymore he just needed the Nicotine. He needed a quick and easy way to induce the Dopamine into his system so that he could relax for more than a minute. He saw a man die from throat cancer once and it was not a pretty sight but when you are going out before the cancer can catch up to you well you might as well take what you can get. He let out a long sigh expelling a puff of smoke into the air as the birds around them sang their seemingly idyllic songs and nobody seemed to notice the two of them even though they were both breaking several laws smoking on school grounds, under age possession of tobacco, intention to sell, intention to buy, etc. It was almost as if they were ghosts that faded into the background unseen and forgotten. 

As they sat in silence Ueda watched the students walking up and down the path out of a sort of morbid curiosity. Toke wanted to understand people so that he could break them, Ueda wanted to understand people because he had seemingly forgotten how it felt to be one. For example there was a pair that came marching up the hill from town a few moment prior one of them a girl maybe a freshman though something seemed odd about her and a boy maybe a little bit older with one arm walking in complete silence. Ueda knew the boys description from somewhere, someone, a voice in class talking about gossip. A second year by the name of Kyle Parker, a foreigner who had apparently made a bad first impression by yelling at a girl that just wanted to be nice to him. Ueda eyes flicked over the pair as they walked past seemingly unknowing of their silent observers judging from his slouched figure, clenched fist and descriptively heavy and forceful footsteps it would seem that some kind of argument or something else unsettling had occurred. And the girl following him strangely not next to him but trailing, lagging behind? No, giving him space maybe. Something had happened and it was most likely between the two of them. They disappeared from sight and walk along the path back towards the dorms and than it was empty again. And then something marvelous happened, somehow just watching those people triggered Ueda and set his brain off on a tangent. Not many people had seen the inner workings the dark and cynical man that lies beneath the kind words of wisdom, Toke was one of those people and he knew that deep down the seemingly out of place outburst that was to take place was less of an outburst and more just beeing able to peer behind the man with the cane's barriers to get maybe a glimpse at how the complex machine works. If only to witness one cog of a grander machine at work.

"You see it is people like those two that make me question this whole damn thing. I just don't get it at all. They know how the story is going to end for them in a place such as this people don't come here for happy endings. And yet they still try and make it better by making friends and falling in love and all that other insignificant crap. And it ends the same for them broken hearts and broken dreams as everyone else. This place, This place is fucking hell coated in a nice coat of paint. And yet I don't leave. And yet I stay and watch them all fall apart." Ueda began to explain taking a long drag before continuing. "This IS everything the human existence has come to despise and hate the utter feeling of a destiny you cannot change, a fate already written for you. They go about and the doctors tell them that they will have normal lives, and yet they know that will never be the case. They will always be different, they will always be under the category of disabled. Especially here of all places in [b]this[/b] country where the stigma of being different will bite with the sharpness of cold steel, where it has been drilled into us that the self is here to serve the greater goal. And when you can't serve that greater goal? Well you become useless, you become a burden upon anyone and everyone you know. Because we don't believe in saving those at the bottom, it is just a race to the fucking top. So realistically most of these people will not get there happily ever afters and yet they keep on trying. Why do they keep on smiling?" Ueda explained in a tone of anger that was displayed rarely as he looked up at the sky and at that moment a memory of words flashed across his mind [I]Sometimes I wonder if I reached out... if you'd really be there at all.[/I] "And I wonder if it is not because they are wrong..... or it is just because I've given up. That I've wasted any chance I'd ever have on going back to that place where you are allowed to see the light at the end of the tunnel and not just think that a fucking train is coming to kill you." 

With that he dropped his words and looked down at the ground and watched as the small ants were crawling about from a ant hill by the edge of the bench. He let out a sigh and once again the switch was turned and he blew out a long puff of smoke before letting out a laugh, a laugh that was not happy in the slightest but maybe just a little bit mad and sounded more defeated than anything else. "I suppose that is why I'm here sitting next to an asshole like you. Because burning the candle at both ends is easier than waiting around to die. And so before anything else is said and done. Riddle me this Toke. Why do they keep on trying?" He asked with a cold emptiness to his voice that was oddly monotone and very un-Ueda in many ways.