[quote=Jazzy]
Alright, Ciphra, Allen asked me to break down your character sheet. I wont decline or accept your character, as Allen wants to go into detail about your power himself (whether in public or via PMs I do not know), but I'll give some pointers on your character from what I can see.Your appearance is lacking heavily. I would recommend reviewing some of the sheets made by Allen or Shade as they usually cover just about every aspect for physical appearance, from head shape to scars and everything in between. Personally, these two are my standard when making a human character. Your personality section is also lacking in that your character doesn't seem like a very open person, and a very two dimensional character that is more interested in himself than anything else. I get that he seeks friends and all that, but if he is hesitant to interact with everyone what incentive do other characters to talk to him. I fear for your sake that your character will be left behind due to this roleplay being so heavy on character interaction.I also feel like you're trying a bit hard here, with being blind, and having amnesia. I doubt you really have the experience required to play such a part due to the mental complications that amnesia can create later on (depression, bipolar disorder, etc). If you really want to go that route, then by all means. But I usually recommend steering clear of mental disability as they tend to be hard to translate to writing if you do have experience with the subject, and are even harder to even do in a remotely accurate fashion if you haven't experienced the condition yourself.Oh, and we already have a character named Chris. This one's optional, but I would recommend changing it to avoid confusion in the future.With that, I'll let Allen make the final verdict.
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Alright. Thanks for the impute. I know I lack a lot at personality. I'm not good at writing it out, just actually showing it in the writing itself so I'll try and work on that because he's a lot more complex than that seems to make him, and same with appearance, I just struggle a lot in that area. As for the Blind part I'm actually partially blind myself and thought it would be cool to incorporate that into a character and as for the amnesia I had a friend that went through that so I sorta get it, but you're probably right so I'll probably get rid of that. Lastly I'll make some changes now but some will have to wait since I'm a full time college student I have a lot of stuff to do so I don't know if I can get to it all at once.