I haven't read the passage yet because of one glaring pet peeve of mine: spacing. 

It's hard for someone to read a long entry when it's all mushed together. Try putting a space in between each paragraph, one line at least. 

Also formatting. Centering isn't a good way (in my opinion) to post a text post. It just makes it hard to keep up with what line you're on. 

Just my input :)