[quote=Everblight]
Incidentally. How would you categorize that writing? Advanced? Casual?
[/quote]

Ahh, the difference correct SPaG makes. Currently, I'd say Casual, simply because it's peppered with small mistakes with your SPaG and the absence of useful commas. Fixing these would make it a much sleeker and more 'impressive' read.

SPaG aside, it could go either way. Honestly, the difference between Casual and Advanced is more a state of mind, in my book. It's about having a long-term commitment to the story with the intention of developing the characters and the story in detail and the patience to deal with the overall slowness. Beyond the expectation that SPaG should be correct, there isn't really a 'quality' difference between a casual-level and advanced-level post.

[quote=Everblight]I tried to divide his somewhat long speech as he was killing the boy with descriptions of his actions etc. I don't know if this was what you were getting at?[/quote]

In fairness, you did do this. I'd have done it with fewer words, but you did do it.