Once the door clicked closed behind Cooper, Lillith let the panic creep in completely. Blood rushed up her neck and into her ears in searing bursts and she flew quickly to the door. She pushed her body into the cool wood and uncharacteristically locked her door, hoping to gain some semblance of comfort. “Holy fuck…” she rasped against the door, her breath creating a steamy design at the temperature difference. He had a gun, she could have been murdered right then.

In less than a second, Lillith’s demons swarmed her. Her breaths came quickly, and far too short… she struggled for oxygen… was she drowning? The weight of the world pressed into her chest, her vision blurred. Surely she was dying. The single coffee she had consumed that day gurgled in her stomach, threatening to burst forth from her lips. Amidst the flashes in her brain and screaming in her ears, Lily crawled to her desk. Pale, panicked fingers clawed at the drawer that contained the only drugs that she legally possessed. It took what felt like an eternity as she struggled between life and death to find the small bottle labeled “alprazolam”. Disregarding dosage suggestions, Lily threw a handful in her mouth. She sat on the floor, trembling with her arms around her knees, waiting for the Xanax dreams to sweep her away.

Lillith didn’t know how many minutes had passed when she looked up from behind her knees. The room blurred before he eyes and it seemed like a fog had settled there. She stood up, vision and limbs lagging behind her mind. She remembered wanting to dress up for the party. Right, she was going to get laid tonight. That was the goal: forget fucking everything! Or was it fuck to forget everything? Who cares… Her hands found the perfect outfit in her closet. A tight silver dress that fell a good foot or more above her knees, paired with bright green fishnet stockings and high, strappy leather boots. She finished the look off with a crop-length leather jacket with more studs, zippers, and pockets than necessary for a normal person. Lillith loaded the pockets with baggies of mary jane, wrappers, e pills, acid tabs, some cash and brass knuckles for self-defense.

Noticing her phone on the desk, Lillith checked for a response from Chris; Nothing from her yet. With a breath that only shook slightly, Lily checked herself out in the mirror. She looked good and tousled her hair a bit to complete the look. Knowing that gun-toting Cooper would be back any minute, Lily decided she needed some quick last-minute courage. Plus, it was never too early to start pre-gaming. Just after she finished putting the lsd under her tongue, a sound at the door broke the silence. Had it been a few minutes earlier, the sound would have put Lily out of her skin, but the benzos had their arms around her in a tight embrace… her senses were dulled. She opened the door to see Cooper with the aforementioned bag all packed. 

Together, the two of them took public transit upstate to join in the revelry. They would both be in no state to drive back by the end of the night, so the bus was the safest option. The bus stop was far from where the party was located, so they had some walking to do. Knowing this was Mari’s hometown, Lily looked around a lot, in interest. The drugs swimming in her bloodstream made her focus somewhat slanted and she was positive her balance was more than a little off. After a slight stumble, she looked up to see a tucked away little church. Even in her drug-induced haze, she recognized the name. Mari talked about church once, after the alcohol had loosened up her lips a bit. A paper flyer attached to the door of the church fluttered in the breeze, she swore it had a picture of a quite recognizable face on it. Lillith turned to Cooper “Hey, I think Mari went here…” she gestured to the church and looked at him curiously, wondering if he cared to explore. With a sudden chuckle, she wondered if the building would fall to pieces if the two of them stepped foot in it.