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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Duthguy
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Duthguy Someone who can't spell Dutchguy

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I have added a 4500,000 Beli bounty to my cs.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by I-Am-X
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Duthguy said
I have added a 4500,000 Beli bounty to my cs.


I think thats the highest one so far, though, means more attention for you lol.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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After some thought, I've decided the bounty for both Vis (3,000,000) and Yoki (3,500,000).
Sorry for the sudden change.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DAWNSTAR
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DAWNSTAR A literal Type 0 Super Luminous Star

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A 4.5 mil Beli bounty seems a bit high though. Vis has a 3 mil Beli bounty for the murder of three people, one of which was a marine. The 3.5 mil bounty is better seeing as it was 'theft' of a devil fruit.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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Vis' bounty is based on the fact that he murdered a Marine. Killing of criminals, not much attention was directed towards that.

As for Yoki, the crime he had committed is considered quite minuscule compared to other criminal acts. In reality, it doesn't really deserve a bounty. However, the Noble he had stolen from had requested it. The authorities ended up doing as they were told since they can't really deny a Noble of their requests.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DAWNSTAR
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The bounties are a nice reward if somebody could kill us but it isn't nearly as high as some of the better people with bounties. After all, Luffy had a 400,000,000 beli bounty and lord knows how high it was when he became the Pirate King.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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BrodZ11711 Master of the New Age

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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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@Brod
Several issues regarding your CS.
First, use the code [Hider] for the entire CS.
Regarding his bounty, how did he get it? What did he do to deserve one?
And for his ability, Logia? If you mean a Devil Fruit, which one? Explain in his history how he got it and elaborate on his level of mastery of the fruit.
Lastly, I've noticed a few typos and certain parts that could use some commas and rephrasing.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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Jabber said
Several issues regarding your CS. First, use the code [Hider] for the entire CS.Regarding his bounty, how did he get it? What did he do to deserve one?And for his ability, Logia? If you mean a Devil Fruit, which one? Explain in his history how he got it and elaborate on his level of mastery of the fruit.Lastly, I've noticed a few typos and certain parts that could use some commas and rephrasing.


Logia is a devil fruit. And i will elaborate right now
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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Hide the whole thing. got it
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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Sorry for the things I'm asking for, but I'm a little obsessive-compulsive when it comes to character sheets.

Also, I noticed in this site, you can't have a Hider within a Hider. Just saying since you seemed to have done that.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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yeah its annoying :(
the hiders, not you
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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BrodZ11711 Master of the New Age

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Is that better?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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BrodZ11711 Master of the New Age

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Do i have the all go to write in the IC
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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The grammar issues (not really grammar though, some parts just need commas and apostrophes) and typos I mentioned earlier are still there though.

And if the commanding officer you're talking about is Edge's father or the one from the opposing crew, then that wouldn't get you a bounty.

How good is he with his fruit?

So we have two logias now.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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Jabber said
The grammar issues and typos I mentioned earlier are still there though.And if the commanding officer you're talking about is Edge's father or the one from the opposing crew, then that wouldn't get you a bounty. How good is he with his fruit?So we have two logias now.


Where are the grammar issues? Sorry, I'm on my phone.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Duthguy
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Duthguy Someone who can't spell Dutchguy

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Jabber said
After some thought, I've decided the bounty for both Vis (3,000,000) and Yoki (3,500,000). Sorry for the sudden change.


I made the change
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by DAWNSTAR
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Wow, Vis and Kurama are the two oldest characters with the respective ages of 24 and 25.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by BrodZ11711
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BrodZ11711 Master of the New Age

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Can someone give me feedback on my character?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jabber
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@Brods
I didn't focus on rephrasing and just edited a few parts. The ones that are bold are the ones I edited if it wasn't clear.

As for the issue of not being able to have Hiders within Hiders, I suggest you just link those images to the text instead of having a wall of pictures in your CS.
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