[quote=Kynapon]
Well, I posted the Cs... Now it's time for you to tell me everything that's wrong with it. Please do so because I'm cringing at it myself.
[/quote]

Much better thank some stuff we're gotten. It lacks some detail, but I think you'll flesh her out a bit more as the RP goes along. The history kinda cuts off, but it's not that big of a problem.

You have my thumbs up.