The Avatar had expected some reassurance from her earth bending friend, and the glimmer in her eyes had reflected deeply on that hope. Bolin was becoming a firm pillar in her life, Korra believed that he might understand her feelings and agree to some extent on what her opinions were. What had actually come to pass was the exact opposite; Bolin was against her, an eye opener if there ever was one. Just earlier he had been the neutral force in a dispute between Mako and herself, yet now he appeared very much the opposite. Her gut tightened at his words, the hand grasping her arm tightened. It was all she could do other than tighten her jaw and, for the sake of her friend and most importantly herself, keep silent. Bolin wouldn’t help her when it came to Tenzin’s pursuits, going far to express trust in Lin’s ability as a friend since childhood. That was something Korra couldn’t have over her; she knew Tenzin even more than his own wife did, and if anyone was qualified to keep an eye on the elder air bender it was his old flame. A transition to the contents of Lin’s desk which contained a very precious picture of Tenzin followed. Korra had become less tense and moreso confused at Bolin’s priority in the conversation, and were it not her being chewed out she may even have cracked a smile in that moment. Three words were stated that had hit her hard, not because of what was said, but who had said it.

This was Bolin; Bolin, of all people, telling her these things. 

Her eyes widened in awe as the torrent that was Bolin’s harsh truth came at her in waves. It had been true that Lin knew Tenzin better than her. It was also true that Tenzin had trusted her to be better than that. Korra wanted to cut in, wanted to place a defense in favor of herself to try and justify why she did what she did, but Bolin was relentless. Going as far as to express his own disappointment in her, not just Tenzin’s, the Avatar was at a complete loss of words. Being who she was, being the Avatar, meant solving the problems of others. Bolin may be right about everything else, but that was just something she couldn’t concede on. No matter how much sense he was making, some stubbornness was holding out in the back of her head, preventing her from losing all ground. She was the physical and the spiritual representation of balance and basically the bridge for both, the world was to be protected and remain peaceful, it was her duty to make sure someone as influential and affectionate as Tenzin didn’t get caught up in a road of vengeance. Could Lin really prevent that alone?

Mako ate in silence, but every now and then he had his eye on his brother and Korra, wondering how things were going. His plate was cleaned off without a scrap left, just in time for Asami to gain his attention and, noticeably reluctant, agreed to keep Korra and Bolin for the night. Mako was no idiot; the history with Korra and himself was not so easily forgotten and Asami wasn’t willing to let the relationship they were both struggling to reform suddenly relegate in the face of the Avatar’s stay. He wanted to reassure her that his eyes were only on her, but there was no perfect way to do such a thing at the time. The mention of something sweet being on the mind and a gorgeous smile following, Mako did not hesitate in following Asami to the kitchen, quietly taking Bolin and Korra’s plates in place of herself. Bolin had consumed much, but as he noted before it was Korra who had hardly touched it. Setting aside the dishes that had little to no food scraps remaining, Mako was quick to retrieve plastic wrap from one of several drawers and quickly wrapped Korra’s plate. The meal was good, and hopefully when those two resolve whatever was being discussed she’d be hungry for this more around lunchtime tomorrow. Asami was fixated on the fridge and the contents that were frozen inside. She had retrieved a tub of chocolate ice cream, making the mention for groceries. In that moment Mako felt as if things had returned to the way they should have been. No more betrayal, no more fear of his being stupidly unfaithful, only each other. The urge to come forward and press his lips against Asami’s cheek and refer to her as something sweeter had been strong, but he had decided against such a bold move and found it best to treat her well without overstepping his boundaries. [b]“Yeah, let’s do that. We can form a list together later.”[/b] Scooting by her to place Korra’s untarnished meal in the fridge, he had closed the door behind himself and listened to Asami’s suggestion of sharing a bowl. His cheeks turned a light shade of red, warm as the day he first laid eyes on her. This was a good sign of things to come in their future, and Mako was only capable of grinning like a fool as she drew the scoops for them. 

Meanwhile, Korra was still trying to piece together the things Bolin was saying, piece by piece. Korra could feel herself trembling, not out of anger, but by complete disbelief. He probably didn’t intend to, but the 180 was something she hadn’t been prepared for, and of course it did hurt to hear these things coming from him. She had meant well, even if it didn’t seem like it. The things he was saying weren’t entirely false, but what made them cement in her head was that her way of handling things was no longer being tolerated. Bolin was taking a stand on the matter and, for better or worse, working to try and help her see that she was not only failing as a student and a friend, but even seemed to imply that she was failing at her duty as the Avatar. Speechless, completely and utterly speechless was what Korra was left. Her bottom lip quivered slightly, mouth going dry. Words wanted to come forth and protest, but nothing was coming out. That was a level of honesty the Avatar wasn’t prepared for, it had left her in a state of complete loss. What does one possibly say after all of that?

Mako and Asami had reappeared from the kitchen, the former holding the bowl of ice cream with care, spoons tucked under the mass. Korra’s face had moved to the opposite side of them, hiding it as much as possible from the pair. Mako’s curiosity grew, yet his respect for the conversation being purely between them did not waiver. Mako gave Bolin a good look, not really portraying any real emotion on his face nor asking the question of what he said to Korra. Trusting his brother to handle this was the best option, and while he hoped Bolin was giving her what she needed, there was also hope that he wasn’t pushing her too hard. Trusting him to know the difference, it seemed that Korra had not been interested in ice cream, nor a swim with them. [b]“That’s okay,”[/b] Mako could tell that perhaps it was best to let Korra be alone with Bolin. [b]“If you change your mind—“[/b]

[b]“In a minute, guys.”[/b] Korra suddenly interjected, much to the surprise of Mako who had believed her mute. Her voice was noticeably dry, her eyes not moving to meet with the others. Instead she was only hoping they’d understand that a little time was necessary.

[b]“No problem. Take your time, you know where we’ll be.”[/b] Mako glanced at Asami and nodded her head. They were only going to be in the way of this conversation, but from the tension surround Korra Mako would’ve compared it to a stance of pure defeat, almost as if Bolin was dumping her for another woman.

Korra waited until the footsteps of her friends vanished until she was somewhat comfortable to speak; her eyes were moistened, but not enough to suggest tears would soon follow. Her eyes returned to Bolin’s, not filled with hope, instead representing a plea. There were a number of actions Korra could take right now, and whether or not it was her place to do so, she had leaned against Bolin with her forehead against her rightmost shoulder. She knew he wouldn’t push her away, even if he was disappointed the earth bender couldn’t have been capable of such a thing, could he? She didn’t mean for this to get out of hand, to become so dramatic in the face of a friend who only wanted what was best for her. She was weak for this, and hated herself for it, but looking into the face of Bolin told her that she was at risk of losing everyone close to her. Asami didn’t trust her nor did she have reason to, Mako probably didn’t want to have anything to do with her because of the situation with Asami, and Tenzin looked down on her tonight just as Bolin was now. Before Bolin could shift his own body to either welcome or refuse Korra, she pulled away and rubbed her eyes. [b]“Sorry, I shouldn’t be acting like this.”[/b] She muttered, sniffling a little and keeping her eyes cast down. Staring at him was painful, especially after being told what a fool she had been. What a fool she still was. [b]“I messed up tonight, and I …I keep using you to tell me it’s going to be okay, to tell me that I’m still going to be okay. I’m not okay.”[/b]

Pained as she might be by confronting her own shortcomings, her gaze returned to Bolin. Though her eyes burned, Korra dare not peel them away. [b]“I’m selfish. I’ve only cared about how I felt, never about others. I never gave Asami the apology she deserved and I’m the reason Mako isn’t happy. I didn’t apologize to Tenzin and Lin tonight for being a stupid little girl and eavesdropping.”[/b] Korra bit her lip, knowing that Bolin was someone who she had to paid respect to the most. He was pulling her up this entire time in spite of how terrible a friend she was. 

[center][i][b]“Life’s never been the same since I met you!”[/b][/i][/center]

 His words and smile the day they returned were clear as day in her mind, and when comparing that expression of joy to this expression of disappointment it only resulted in a pain deep in her chest. Korra’s ignorance of his feelings and negligence of her friends altogether was haunting here right here and now, but the first person she had struck in the face was the one who was the closest. Compared to Bolin, as of now the others weren’t on the same level. They were careful of their words and, while Asami was bitter, she still tried to make some suggestions and put it behind her even now. If it was Asami who had kissed her boyfriend and never mentioned it, would Korra welcome her into her home? Would she be so willing to try and forgive? The Avatar lacked the strength and the will to think about these questions. The importance of it all now was that she understood because it was the one so close to her all this time telling her, to her face, what kind of a fool she was. 

[b]“I know I don’t have a right to ask more of you now than you’ve already given me, but I just need to ask why you’ve stuck around.”[/b] Her voice quivered, a shudder going throughout her body. Standing tall didn’t matter, because when bearing witness to all the mistakes she made Korra was aware of how much of a dwarf she was in comparison. It was impossible to escape it when everything was out on the table between them. [b]“You didn’t quit on me. Asami and Mako still talk to me and still seem to care, but after I practically threw that night we shared away you just put it behind you. I couldn’t even look you in the eye and beg for your forgiveness, but you still stayed beside me.”[/b] Her defense was crumbling as she spoke; she had long since released her arm, hands balled into fists at her side and eyes remaining moist. This was what it was like when she was confronted with something she had no answer to. You didn’t go your entire life being a prodigy and then turn into a novice at something that should come so easy. Failing at air bending was a taste of bitter humble pie, and she was tasting it again. Bolin had humbled her, but it was because he humbled her that she was beginning to grow frustrated at how he could not be angry. [b]“You had every right to walk away once the Equalists were beaten. I broke your heart and I didn’t even have the decency to …to…”[/b] she stuttered, shutting her eyes. Regrettably, a lone tear from her right eye had fallen. She hadn’t felt so vulnerable since Amon had confronted her for the very first time. With all of her will, Korra had steadied her voice. Her eyes opened, only imagining how pathetic she must look like this in front of someone she cared about so much. Why was it only now that she realized how important Bolin was? That everyone was?

[b]“Why didn’t you yell at me? Or ignore me? I don’t want a drawn out explanation about how great I am anymore, I don’t care about that. What I care about is what kept you with me. Just tell me what it really is Bolin, because I can’t understand it. You put up with it, all of it! Why?”[/b]

To fall and get back up again is what she was taught, not only by her instructors, but by her past lives. Korra had fallen into a place so dark there was no hope of escape until they had returned to her, and when she returned it was this boy in front of her. He had given 110% for her, she had returned nothing, and she hadn’t even tried. What would an apology matter to him now? What did her word really mean after all this?