[quote=Koran]"So if we end up getting shot at by pirates, I get to man the cannon, right? Because I really want to. You know, that thing is not much harder than using a blaster, which I am brilliant with,"[/quote]

"As far as I'm concerned you can have it. I can't shoot out of anything but a pilots seat with a fixed gun. And that particular skill is useless here..."
Null glances around the cockpit and wrinkles her nose in disgust. "Do any of you shower? Ever?"
Null looked out one of the rectangular oblong portholes in the upper wall of the cockpit. The stars shining through in their usual perpetual gleam. Sometimes she imagined one of those stars were her mother... and she didn't really know if the thought comforted her or unsettled her. She shuddered to think what the imaginary personality she had built for her mother; charming, wise, sweet... quiet... she shuddered to think what that woman she imagined would think of her now. A killer and a mercenary. Like her father... The idea that her father might be proud of her and what she's accomplished in these past 13 years was even more disturbing. It made her sick to her stomach with grief. She could imagine the face of every man she had killed... the two women... They all deserved it but sometimes she wondered if she deserved to be the blade that put them out of everyone else's misery. She even contradicted herself, wondering if she was good enough to judge them that way in the same pulse of blood that wondered if she was a horrible enough person to deserve to carry their souls and faces in her mind the rest of her life... she felt haunted by these thoughts. Haunted by herself. Sometimes she wondered if it was just her way of escaping what she was. The murder, the adventure, the sex... what if it was just her way of masking what was beneath. Pretending that this is what she had imagined for herself as a child. But whatever the reason she worked for someone she couldnt just escape now. She was in this life permanently whether she knew or even cared if it was what she was meant to do. 
Eventually the weight of the stars she was staring at forced her to look down at the grated floor instead. These thoughts were too heavy for right now...