Pain. That was all there was as Mithias gently released his grip. It flowed like blood through his veins, burning at every cell. Truth was lord. It had to be accepted, and it cut like a blade. Mithias stepped back, his head bowed, teeth clenched, and half doubled over, he clutched his chest where it hurt the most. He understood now. His so-called father already saw him as dead and didn't want to condemn himself to grief. It hurt like hell.
Even as Gabriel had given up, feeling content that the conversation had gone the same way as every time he had had it with his children before, a pleading voice stabbed at him from within the silence.
"Wait father."
That annoying and infuriating glimmer of hope reared its familiar, ugly head. It seemed this child of his was exceptionally persistent. Damn Mithias wouldn't give up. A curiosity snagged his feet, although he knew he should have kept walking. Gabriel never was good at controlling his whims.
Mithias was distraught. He cared, he really did. He spoke softly, honestly. Very few instances brought him to tears. "I can't let you do this to yourself. I can't let you go on, knowing that you suffer." He furrowed his brow and took a slow breath. "You know it's already too late, because you DO love me, and you face nothing but incredible regret on the day I die, IF I die before you do... for having denied me. Don't run again."
Several times in the past, Gabriel had simply vanished for centuries. Mithias half glared. He knew that bastard was considering it again. Yet already Mithias was starting to understand Gabriel, and he was going to prove it.
"I know now why you turned me. It's the same reason why you made so many vampires, why you womanize, and why you can't stop yourself from intervening. You've been waging an internal war against the fear of death all your life, and your heart is starving. When you saw me display mercy, an act of love toward a vampire, you saw what you had been seeking all along. That there was potential... You hoped that that same love would free you. And damnit to hell, I'm trying." His determination was somewhat flattering.
Mithias knew he had more convincing to do, and this was his chance. He truly did sympathize with the need to avoid the suffering of loss, but he knew that his father's answer was wrong. "I know you've lost everyone you ever have cared for to time. Death must seem inevitable to you by now, but even you still do not know the future. I am older and wiser, and I will not seek death nor live for it..." Mithias saw Gabriel's eye-rolling and stepped forward to keep his attention, "No, listen. Take your own advice, father. ... Which of us is living for death here?" He hesitated. He had a valid point."'Tis better to have loved and lost. Do you really prefer to keep losing your war?"
Mithias stared at Gabriel, trying to read him. The streetlight on the corner flicked from yellow to red, casting its color onto the pavement while nobody moved. Had a few centuries of immortality not been enough to kill this youth's hopefulness?
"From the moment I first opened my vampire eyes, father, you were God to me. I can forgive you for everything that you have ever done, from killing orphans to abandoning me... Look at me now. See not my ashes. If you can save me once, you've probably done it more times than I can count, and I thank you. ...and I will always thank you, and I will return the favor." Mithias certainly didn't like many of the things his father did, but he still loved him. He hadn't lost hope in him, when maybe he should have. Something deeper just endured, something meaningful.
If anything, it was clear that Mithias was interested in protecting Gabriel, which might have appealed to his overwhelming fear of death. Perhaps he'd be worth keeping around for that reason.
The ex-knight straightened his suit. "I will respect your wishes, father, even if means I will never see you again, but let me extend to you an invitation. Visit me whenever you please. Let us be allies. Call upon me, speak to me. I'm challenging you to a test of bravery, sire." Mithias gave a sly smile and extended his hand. "I know you can do it. I believe in you." A shake would be respect, a temporary goodbye, but also an agreement. It would be a sign of willingness on Gabriel's part to crawl out of that dark hole he had been hiding in, denying himself any attachment to the ever-changing outside world. All he had to do was reach up and grab that hand, and Mithias would pull him out.
"It's time for me to give you new life."