[h3][u]A city, plagued by the crime. A city of buildings and streets. A city in need of a hero.[/u][/h3]
But who, cries the collective voices of human and skeleton-kind, will step up to the plate, and become the hero this city so dearly needs? Well, ladies, gentlemen, skeletons, and self-aware computer systems, prepare to feast thine eyes or equivalent ocular receptacles on the answer to your prayers, in the form of Earth's boniest defender: Skeleton Man! At this very moment, the planet's very own skeletal paragon of justice is on the lookout for any nefarious evildoers, who have deluded themselves into thinking they can possibly escape the reach of the long, bony arm of the law.

Or, to put it in layman's terms, Skeleton Man was currently seated upon the rooftop of a building, utilizing the immeasurable power of his Skeleton Vision to observe the city streets, waiting patiently for a crook to show themselves. "Any moment now, I'll have a chance to finally dispense justice, the Skeleton Man way!" So said the man of bony construction himself, shivering all the while. He'd been up there for several hours, and it was starting to get rather chilly. Despite his skeletal heritage, the magnificent Skeleton Man was still susceptible to cold, unfortunately.

Luckily, for both our Calcium-rich Champion and the good citizens of Jump City, an opportunity finally presented itself. This opportunity took the form of a classic case of "a random mugger deciding to rob a lady of her purse, presumably for the money contained within." Well, Skeleton Man couldn't simply stand by and watch this grave injustice go unchallenged, something had to be done.

Anyway, Skeleton Man had to move quickly, lest the robber escape unpunished. But first, he had to make a proper entrance. Rising to his actually quite impressive height of two metres, he proceeded to assume a suitably stylish [url=http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/kamenrider/images/3/3e/Ichigo.png/revision/latest?cb=20140318055208]pose[/url], to better intimidate the miscreant. "Halt, evildoer, justice has a bone to pick with you!" In a bizarre coincidence, at the exact moment this was said, the moon moved into just the right position, shining its pale light upon both the criminal and the soon-to-be esteemed ally of justice. Suffice to say, the effect was quite substantial, at least in Skeleton Man's opinion.

The robber, while certainly halted by the display, didn't appear to be frightened in the slightest. Instead, the criminal responded by verbally launching a flurry of expletives that I shall neglect to inscribe for the sake of decency. "Very well, criminal scum. You have left me with no other choice." Skeleton Man broke from his pose, and proceeded to back up several paces. After taking a deep breath, Earth's boniest defender broke into a run, and leaped off the building. For reference, the structure in question was an astounding one story in height. As he fell, Skeleton Man aimed his boot at the evildoer, whilst calling out a simple, but effective phrase: "Skele-kick!" [i]Note to self: hiring a consultant to seek possible alternative names for special moves might be worthwhile in the future.[/i]

The kick struck true, mostly due to a great deal of practice on Skeleton Man's part, and not at all due to luck. The impact, unlike the prior speech, had a much more significant effect on the crook, as it floored the evildoer. Unfortunately for our hero, however, the strike had a seemingly profound impact on him as well, which became apparently fairly quickly. "Ah cripes, I think I broke my femur." Skeleton Man, likely in great pain from the damage to his skeletal frame, gripped the injured (?) limb with one arm, thus cutting the number of appendages at his disposal in half.

While our intrepid hero was busy hobbling about, the evildoer he'd confronted lifted himself off the ground. The vile miscreant withdrew a knife, presumably with the intent of harming the great Skeleton Man. As he approached the bony vigilante, however, it quickly became apparent that all was not as it seemed. "Luckily for me, I always carry a spare," said Skeleton Man, as he promptly swung a thigh bone at the criminal. Simultaneously, the masked hero released his supposedly damaged leg from his grip, revealing that it did, in fact, work perfectly. It had been a ruse of the highest order, for Skeleton Man's Calcium Strength made his bones marginally more resistant to harm than any normal man.

The criminal was visibly rattled by the display of Skeleton Man's durability, or maybe it was the femur hitting him in the face. It was difficult to tell which, really. Despite this, he didn't falter, and continued in his attempt to strike down Jump City's boniest defender. Said attempt came to fruition when, despite the best efforts of our Calcium-rich Champion, the evildoer managed to drive their knife into Skeleton Man's chest. Unsurprisingly, Calcium Strength didn't do much against most stab wounds. Yet, much like his opponent, Charles Osso was not one to give up, and proceeded to once again strike the evildoer with his femur club. Before the robber could recover his wits, Skeleton Man did so again, and repeated the process until the evildoer was finally subdued.

Ignoring the knife that was still in his chest for the time being, Earth's boniest defender picked up the stolen purse, and handed it back to the original owner, who'd remained stock still for the entirety of the incident. "No need to thank me, citizen, I am merely doing my duty as an ally of justice. Now, I must be off, for a hero's duty is never done. Skeleton Man, away!" He saluted the lady, and proceeded to simply stroll off, heading in the general direction of the local clinic. He had yet to notice the alien invasion going on, but it was only a matter of time. For no injustice can evade the vigilant skeleton eyes of Skeleton Man for long!