[quote=@Jangel13]
Greyson Groaned as he was faced against the ankou knowing this Grim was about to call out and get back up which Greyson didn't have that certain luxury at the moment knowing his other classmates were in similar situations [color=red]so[/color] Greyson was on his own as he charged at the Grimm [color=red]and[/color] quickly used his semblance to make the ankou freeze for a moment when it tried to hit [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] [color=red]and[/color] Greyson was about to attack but [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] misjudged the Ankou's speed of recovery [color=red]and[/color] [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] was barley able to block its strike [color=red]but[/color] he still got a cut on his leg as a result which just made this that much harder. 

Greyson needed to take it down fast [color=red]so[/color] [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] loaded his sword and got ready using his semblance one more time [color=DarkGreen]when it strike[/color] [color=red]but[/color] this time Greyson didn't try to outmaneuver it to try and flank it [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] took it head on. 

Greyson [color=DarkGreen]use his shotgun[/color] and got it right in the face which unfortunately made it screech [color=red]and[/color] now [color=DarkSlateBlue]Greyson[/color] needed to kill it quickly before its help arrived. 

God if Greyson [color=DarkGreen]gets out of this[/color] he [color=DarkGreen]will make sure not[/color] to venture into territory like this alone again...
[/quote]

Okay I'm not trying to be mean I'm really not but seriously dude, step it up. I accept that not everybody is a Hemingway or CS Lewis but this is just sloppy. It could be English is not your first language and I get that, it's hard writing in another language. That can excuse a lot but not everything.

This isn't meant to just be putting you down, I want to make that clear. I'm gonna try and give you some pointers.

Firstly when I read this I had very little idea what was actually going on, how Greyson got where he was or really well anything. First thing that would be a good idea would to not assume that everyone else has been following your character closely. A good portion of the time unless your character is directly interacting with theirs then they'll just skim your posts and some of the content will likely be forgotten or not read in the first place. Make it perfectly clear where you are and what you are doing cause I was really confused about that in your post, I had to look up your previous IC post to figure it out.

The second thing and this will basically solve all of your problems, post with proper grammar and clearly defined sentences and paragraphs. On the quote the words in red represent words that join two sentences that really shouldn't have been there, use a period instead. Periods are your friends, don't be afraid to use them.

Also the use of your characters name or not in a post is very important. It's important that you use the name of your character enough that we know who is posting (and this isn't just him, some of you represent your character with the word he or she all of the time and I have to reference the character tab to figure out who is posting). However your don't want to use it so much that we get sick of hearing the name. Words in blue above represent instances of Greyson's name that either should be replaced with some variation of 'he' or just removed period.

Lastly keep your tenses consistent. If you want to write on third person do so, if you want to write in first person do so, but make a definitive choice and stick to it. There is nothing more distracting than a post that constantly swaps between first and third person. You didn't do it so much in this post as in previous ones but it's still not great. Green represents the places where it happens.

There are a couple other minor grammatical issues to do with capitalization and such but those aren't really as much of a big deal.

I just want you to know that I am writing this not to be mean but to help you improve. Everyone no matter who they are need a kick in the pants once awhile. Following some of this advice would greatly increase the legibility of your posts, we'd all appreciate it.