Well, besides the Text Wall of Death, there's a few things wrong here. The characters Mark is quite similar to mine, and the fact that she has 'First One' branded on her. Also the fact that she was able to handle thousands of Demons inside her body...eh...not so much. 'Not even the King could handle that many of us', and the rest of it seems like you're kinda God modding your character. Also, one doesn't simply CONVERSE with a Demon. Not to mention the Demon is LILITH. That's effing insane, no 'human' could contain Lilith, being as powerful as she is. Hell, in this world nobody has really and understanding of Demons since they just invaded and kinda..y'know..destroyed everything.