[quote=@Lullyn] [hider=Aeron Acantha][color=gray][center][h1]|Aeron Acantha|[/h1] [img]http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33200000/Bradley-James-bradley-james-33285775-5000-3333.jpg[/img][/center] [color=7ea7d8]Name:(Try to incorporate mythology somehow, though this isn't a requirement)[/color] [indent]See above[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Gender:[/color] [indent][/indent] Male [color=7ea7d8]Age:[/color] [indent][/indent] 15 [color=7ea7d8]Year:[/color] [indent][/indent] 5th [color=7ea7d8]Blood:[/color] [indent][/indent] Half blood [color=7ea7d8]House:[/color] [indent][/indent] Animikii [color=7ea7d8]Pet:[/color] [indent] [img][/img][/indent] He has a family dog at home, but no personal pets. [color=7ea7d8]Electives:[/color] [indent]For third years and up/three electives allowed[/indent] - COMC - Muggle Studies - Study of Ancient Runes [color=7ea7d8]Clubs:[/color] [indent]Maximum of three[/indent] - Magical Creature Club - Duelling Club [color=7ea7d8]Personality:(At least a paragraph)[/color] [indent][/indent] Aeron is caring and loyal, a bit of a goof but when he says something, he means it. You can tell a lot about when he’s thinking by what he does with his hair. I.e. When he’s embarrassed, he tugs his fringe, when he’s thinking is messes it up. Aeron loves to be around his friends, but something you can find him alone, looking at the stars. He likes muggle things, but isn’t interested in being part of the muggle world. His mother made sure he and his brother’s attended muggle school before joining the magical one. He’s very brave, and whilst he might let people say stuff about him, he’ll protect someone else who’s getting a hard time. Having a child hood like his makes very little get to him. He’s down to earth and very easy going. [color=7ea7d8]Likes:(At least three)[/color] [indent][/indent] Storms, outdoor sports and activities, animals, a cute accent [color=7ea7d8]Dislikes:(At least three)[/color] [indent][/indent] Bullies or people who think they’re better than others, cruelty to animals, needles. [color=7ea7d8]Fears:[/color] [indent][/indent] Needles, and his father finding his family [color=7ea7d8]Biography:(At least two paragraphs)[/color] [indent][/indent][/color] Aeron grew up with his mum and 2 younger brothers. His father was an abusive drunk, a muggle, who had become steadily worse after their marriage. He’d been overjoyed at his wife’s pregnancy with Aeron, but when she chose his name, his father hated it. It was too late, so Aeron, pronounced “Air-ron” became Aaron to his father, who didn’t like magical names. When his younger brothers came along, a pair of twins, his wife let him name them James and Chase. She thought this would appease him, but he still wasn’t happy. Every night, lying in bed, Aeron would fall asleep with his parents shouting downstairs. It didn’t change until Aeron was 6, the twins 3. Aeron’s father had still been out when his mother had tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, but he was awoke by a noise. It took some time for him to realise there was a crashing downstairs and he thought someone must be breaking in. He was terrified, but he heard a cry from his mother, so left his room and went to the stairs. Below was his father, his mother across the room, holding her face and shaking. She saw him and her eyes were wide. She seemed to be trying to tell him something. “You’re a stupid cow,” his father was saying, though this was in a neutral voice, like he was telling her the time, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand. “And I’m going to make sure you know it. And your wand is not going to help you.” The man gestured to a table at the bottom of the stairs, where his mother’s wand lay. His father, in a sudden mood swing, through the bottle so it smashed above his mother’s head, showering her with glass. She covered herself. Aeron didn’t know how he’d done it. One minute he was on the stairs, the next the wand was in his hand, pointing at his father, who had been flung against the wall and was in a crumpled mess on the floor. His mother took her children that night, changed their names back to her maiden name, and sought sanctuary among the wizarding world. To this day, only Aeron, her and his father know it was him who blasted his father across the room. His father is one of the muggles wanting to have equal rights among the magical community, though Aeron believes this may be more to do with finding him and his family. His mother is a healer at the local clinic, a small clinic for minor magical injuries. His brothers attend Hogwarts. [/hider] [hider=Artemis Dwyn][color=gray][center][h1]|Artemis Dwyn[/h1] [img] http://fashionphobia.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Jena-Malone-Short-Hairstyle.jpg [/img][/center] [color=7ea7d8]Name:(Try to incorporate mythology somehow, though this isn't a requirement)[/color] [indent][/indent] Artemis Dwyn [color=7ea7d8]Gender:[/color] [indent][/indent] Female [color=7ea7d8]Age:[/color] [indent][/indent] 15 [color=7ea7d8]Year:[/color] [indent][/indent] 5th [color=7ea7d8]Blood:[/color] [indent][/indent] Pure [color=7ea7d8]House:[/color] [indent][/indent] Azeban [color=7ea7d8]Pet:[/color] [indent] None. [img][/img][/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Electives:[/color] [indent]For third years and up/three electives allowed[/indent] COMC Divination Study of Ancient Runes [color=7ea7d8]Clubs:[/color] [indent]Maximum of three[/indent] Potions Duelling [color=7ea7d8]Personality:(At least a paragraph)[/color] [indent][/indent] Artemis is a cool customer, though she can seem so sweet and innocent. If she wants something, there’s little she won’t do to get it. That being said, she expects people to do as she wants too. She can be vindictive and cruel, but that’s all “part of the fun” as she says. She likes to be in control, whether that is through being sweet and playing the victim, or stamping all over people. She will fight for what she wants, and she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty [color=7ea7d8]Likes:(At least three)[/color] [indent][/indent] Getting her own way, attention (doesn’t matter form who), bitter lemonade, people with strong personalities who know what they want. [color=7ea7d8]Dislikes:(At least three)[/color] [indent][/indent] Those who rely on others to fight their battles or people who are all mouth and no action, being bored, people who think they’re clever. [color=7ea7d8]Fears:[/color] [indent][/indent] Insects [color=7ea7d8]Biography:(At least two paragraphs)[/color] [indent][/indent][/color] Artemis was brought up by her aunt and little is known about her mother. Her father travels a lot. Her aunt, Titania, was a thin, tall women. She had been married 5 times, each time a widow, and never having children. She was wealthy and lived well. Aunt Titania was glamourous and taught her amount how to dress to impress and how to be around men and women. Titania lived in France for many years and speaks it fluently, teaching it to her niece. She has a very Parisian outlook on life, love etc. Artemis, due to her aunt’s influence, became somewhat of a pampered Princess, though her aunt was sure to explain to her that she needed to earn everything. Her aunt set her tasks, such as getting the attention of a certain boy or of getting someone to do something for her, and would reward her. “Zese,” her aunt would say in a French accent, which she believe her sound sexy and exotic, “are very important lessons. If you can make someone do something for you, you will never be without.” So she went through her life manipulating those she needed to, even her own father. She adores her father, but gets annoyed when he comes home and uses his absences to get what she wants from him. [/hider] [/quote] Both of your characters personalities are bland and one-dimensional, not thoroughly expanded. Also, the part where Aeron is named a “magical” name should be removed, as well. The whole mythology thing is not so much as a wizarding thing, but just an unspoken theme of J.K. Rowling. Hermione Granger, despite being a muggleborn, has a mythology name. I have my reserves with the whole mother-was-abused thing. If you are able to write it realistically and accurately, then it is allowed, but if you over-do it then I rather you not. And Artemis’s biography also needs to be more expanded on. Also, just for aesthetics, can you remove the things I have placed in parentheses, indent the listing in the electives and clubs on both, as well as fill out the second name section for Aeron and make the biography gray instead of white since it is easier on the eyes. Thanks! [quote=@Crimmy] [hider=Lü Ziya][color=gray][center][h1]|Lü Ziya|[/h1] [img]http://i.imgur.com/OORiLpG.jpg[/img][/center] [color=7ea7d8]Name:[/color] [indent]Lü Ziya[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Gender:[/color] [indent]Male[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Age:[/color] [indent]15[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Year:[/color] [indent]5th[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Blood:[/color] [indent]"Half-Blood"[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]House:[/color] [indent]Nolka Nari[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Pet:[/color] [indent] Nügua the Puffin [img]http://i.imgur.com/rA9JYJ0.jpg[/img][/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Electives:[/color] [indent]Care of Magical Creatures Divination Study of Ancient Runes[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Clubs:[/color] [indent]Duelling Club Student Activist Club [/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Personality:[/color] [indent]The young teenager known as Lü Ziya is quite an eccentric fellow, one that seems to work on an independent wavelength from his fellow, less politically-motivated fifteen year olds. He seems a communistic society as the epitome of all political aspirations, and it is obvious from conversations with him that the pursuit of such a goal in the magical world is a major aspect of his person. He is a skilled orator, though the presence of the mask upon his face and lack of visible eyes due to his large hat are detrimental to his attempts at conveying his messages, with the muffled, lightly accented words seemingly comical to those who listen. Life is a source of passion for him, and he will take to all that he does with vigour and energy, although it can be rather overwhelming to others at times. His manner of speech is quite formal, and he will always try his best to treat everyone with respect.[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Likes:[/color] [indent]Sleeping; Cartoons; Learning new things; History; Dengism; Four Classics; Century Eggs[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Dislikes:[/color] [indent]The Bourgeois; Inefficiency; Opposing opinions; Mushrooms; Neo-Feudalistic Plutocracies[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Fears:[/color] [indent]The unknown; Dying; Failure[/indent] [color=7ea7d8]Biography:[/color] [indent][/indent]In the mid-1800s, a lesser branch of the Chinese Lü family, a magical clan that claimed descent from the ancient military strategist and sage Taigong Wang (though supposedly separate from the House of Jiang, rulers of the Qi state), crossed the great Pacific Ocean for California, leaving their homes and loved ones to seek new fortunes in what was known as the Gold Mountain. Though the wizards and witches of the family would first suffer discrimination from the established white settlers like many of their fellow Chinese brethren, they were lucky enough to achieve success in the goldfields (though it was possible that magic may have been involved), and soon became semi-respected members of the East Coast's magical authorities, even after they were subsumed into the great American Association. While they were still in frequent contact with the upper branch back in Qing China, this side of the Lü family began to identify more as Americans as the years went by, becoming a mix of the disparate cultures of their motherland and their new homes. This was the foundation of Lü Ziya's beginnings. Following the victory of the Chinese Communist Party over Jiang Jieshi's Guomingdang in 1949, the members of the upper branch that had survived the horrific magical shadow wars that ran alongside the First and Second Sino-Japanese Wars as well as the Chinese Civil War were left in a destitute state. Their fortunes, located in their native Shandong province, had been destroyed during the Japanese occupation, when General Yasuji Okamura implemented his scorched earth policies to deal with the Chinese resistance, and despite prominently supporting the CCP, failed to regain their wealth after Jiang Jieshi's Republic was forced to Taiwan. The next few decades were hard for the family to bear, and the economic development enjoyed by Shandong following Deng Xiaoping's rise to power, while definitely improving their situation, failed to return them to former greatness. So in a snap decision, Ziya's grandfather, Lü Yongpei, moved his part of the upper branch over to the States, where they hoped that the lesser branch would accept them. And they did. By the time Lü Ziya was born, the first child of the magical Lü Zifeng and his long-time Muggle girlfriend, Hua Peixing, his family had joined the middle class of America, though backed with the support of the firmly entrenched lesser branch. It was quite a simple life for him in his youth, with the only strange happenings being his bouts of accidental magic. Then he turned eleven, when he was accepted into Salem despite his family's wishes to send him back to China for his wizardry studies. Still, he went to the closer American institute without too much disagreement, taking to the school like a fish did water. He has spent the last few years enjoying his time at Salem, and wishes to continue in such a manner.[/color][/hider] [/quote] Accepted! For visual aesthetics, though, can you indent the biography XD I like the look it has c: