"[i]Yoooo![/i]" came warbling distorted voice from above. Slowly, painfully, he opened up his eyes to see some sort of golden beach Adonis looking down on him from on high, speaking through a megaphone. He leaned up from the white ladder leading up to where the perfect human specimen perched, rubbing his head and thinking about how much he's like to drag the pretty bastard down to the ocean and give his head a good dunking.[i] "You can't sleep there man, what if someone drowns? I could twist my ankle jumping over you, and then what?"[/i] 

He stood up, tentatively, as though he wasn't sure it was possible for him. He had the distinct, uncomfortable feeling that he really shouldn't be standing. Yet there he was, standing with no problems. He could even turn. He turned to get a good look at the rude dude who'd woken him up and found he wasn't at all shocked that the man sitting in the life guard station was wearing nothing but a bright red speedo, reflective sunglasses, and some white on his nose. He shook his head, trying to get a clear picture of what was going on, before saying, "Whooooo?"

The man looked at him questioningly, then shrugged and went "I don't know, what about that guy? He's fat, he could drown." he said pointing out a very fat man laying on a towel dressed distressingly similar to himself. The man brought the megaphone back up to his lips and shouted. "[i]And kindly doooon't make fuuuun of hoooow I speeeeak! I don't make fun of your stupid head.[/i]"

Oh that was it, this guy was going in the ocean! He sprung at the latter, climbing up with two deft moves, and grabbed him by the shoulder intending to put him in a headlock and drag him down to the water. But he stopped there. There was something in the side of the booth that caught his eye.

A man. A terribly pale one, but a man all the same. Big eyes, a slight hook to his nose, hair that could only be described as feathery. A little long in the limbs, but very much in shape. He was wearing one of those old timey one-piece men's swimsuits, with the candy stripes, and perched on his head was a little straw hat. For some reason it took him a few long moments to realize what he was looking at. A mirror. This was a mirror. Narcissistic ass had a mirror up here. 

He reached out in wonder he didn't quite understand. The man in the mirror reached out with him, and soon their hands were only separated by the glass. He had the strangest thought then: he really needed to cut his nails. They were nearly talons.

It was then that the man (Max, his name was Max. He was a lifeguard here. How had he forgotten his only friend?) cleared his throat and said. "See, perfectly round Zack. You have a head like a fricken orange."

For some reason, he had no idea why, Zachery Talbot began to laugh out loud. Max side-eyed him, and said cautiously "Dude, are you hiiiigh?"

"Hahahahaha, I don't know!" Zachery said, and again that weird feeling of happiness swelled up inside of him. Just hearing his own voice was like magic. He might actually be high on something, who knows what he could have been slipped while he was knocked out here. He didn't care though, and did a backflip off the station and onto the sand below, reaching out and catching his hat as is fluttered down beside him and placing it securely on his head. He was full of energy. What had he been doing sleeping? He should be out seizing the day. "I'm gonna go somewhere! Do you want to go somewhere?"

"I'm the lifeguard."

"Right, right, sorry I asked. I, I'll, I, I'll be back. I have to do... I don't know, things. I'm going to do things!"

"Then take this." Max said, throwing down a bottle of sunblock to him. "Trust me, you don't want to get burned. Burns hurt like hell."

He caught it greedily, then seemed to make a game of tossing it between his hands. "Right, thanks! See ya' around!" Zack said, taking the rim of his hat between two fingers and tipping it to the lifeguard before trotting off over the sand, throwing the block into the air and catching it over and over again. Max just smiled, grabbed his binoculars, and turned his attention to scanning the surf. He was glad he'd woken up first. Zack would have given him hell for sleeping on the job, and it would have only compounded the shame.