[h2]Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria[/h2]

Takahara coughed a bit. While he WAS a cyborg, getting clapped on the back like that still hurt like hell for an old man.

"Ah, Jack! I'm guessing those texts came at a bad time."

He stretched out, before clearing his throat and going full business mode- adjusting his glasses, standing up, and making a move for the soda. This was usually a sign that the conversation was about to take a turn for the boring.

"The gist of it is that Shadow Eternity left me stranded in a post-apocalyptic hellhole for a week. I had to forage for food and water among the ruins of a dead civilization with monsters that had literal black voids in their torsos which destroyed all organic matter. During that little excursion, there was no follow-up search, no backup, no checkup when communication stopped for a weak after one of those things ate my communicator."

"That isn't just incompetence. It's a sociopathic disregard for the safety and well-being of your employees. That is NOT the behavior of an Evil Organization- you should know that from my drunken spiels about Shocker and Dai-Shocker. Employees are people, not resources, and we know that the goals of the leader are counterproductive and self-defeating... and given the objectives she's chosen and her insistence that we not question her orders on many things, and considering my experience working for previous Evil Organizations... Well, we all know the goals. But the pay's decent. So we've been counting on her incompetence with logistics, stupidity in choosing mission objectives, and her seeming hatred of initiative to guarantee her goals fail."

"I want to offer a chance to make actual money, with rewards for showing initiative rather than punishments. A chance to work for an evil organization like the ones from my glory days- so the image isn't forever tainted by Shadow Eternity's policies and leadership. I've got investors- a bunch of old friends and employers. Now I just need people I can trust."

===
[h2]The dMP[/h2]
"-look we'll do the color commentary, just don't break ou- This is Mack Metaphor, live from the dMP's new HQ! We can't give you an exact location, since they kind of stuffed us in a van at knifepoint to get us here! As always, joining me for this series of matches is Doc Nagano!"

"Always a pleasure, Mack! Tonight's matches continue a long tradition of surprise returns- first Sunshine's return to the dMP, and now the Black Mist wrestlers are showing up after nearly sixty years!"

"Just who is this Black Mist Federation, Doc? I don't remember hearing about them ever facing the Muscle League OR the dMP before."

"Well Mack, I think it's time for a history lesson! Way back in 1975, Japan's first superhuman wrestling association started up- but even then, the Black Mist Federation had been banned from professional sporting events- all the way back in the first Superhuman Olympics in 1959! Their cruel wrestling style was a terror to both human AND superhuman wrestlers. Of course, it was later revealed that the wrestlers were using performance-enhancing black magic granted to the federation's leader, Satan Demon, by an ancient Aztec demon known as Luar. It took a wrestler using the mystic powers of the Star of Aztec to face them down in 1985- and it was thought that this was the end of the BMF!"

"Weren't the rules altered to allow for performance-enhancing black magic when it was revealed Buffaloman sold his soul to the Devil to become more powerful, and the Brocken Family got their superpowers from the Skull of Mystery?"

"That's right Mack, but this was a different time- ANY form of performance enhancement was forbidden. However, even with that rule change, the BMF's wrestling was deemed too brutal to allow them back in the league!"

"But.. what about Ramenman tearing Brockenman Sr. in half in the ring? Or any of Super Pheonix's wrestlers? or-"

"Mack, I want you to read my lips here. In a league where tearing an ex-Nazi in half was rules-legal, ripping the arms off of Terryman was part of a match, and who knows how many shattered spines, skulls, and dreams, the BMF wrestlers ARE CONSIDERED TOO BRUTAL."

"Doc... are we sure that we can even show this on TV?"

"...We should probably check... During this word from our sponsors!"