Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Remram
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Remram

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Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Oblivion666
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Oblivion666 Pun Loving Machine

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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Demous
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Demous White Rose OTP

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Is there room?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Sugihito
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Sugihito

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Still interested. Will take me a while to get a character created though.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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TwilightDragon Dragon of the Night Sky

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@Demous I think there is, just for one or two more peeps.

And good to know. ^^
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Solace
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Solace 𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

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Is there room?


Yup.

I'll check out character sheets later 'cause school.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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TwilightDragon Dragon of the Night Sky

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@hatakekuro I just looked at your WIP; Naga isn't the deity in Pygros. There are several, but you can just call them Creators.

And I WAS going to work on my second charrie in the morning, but the internet got cut off, so... I might work on it on my phone. Might.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Innsert
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Innsert

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Fyi, Im working on my character now. Just wanna make sure I dont lose my spot.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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TwilightDragon Dragon of the Night Sky

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It's fine.

@Oblivion666 I skimmed over your form and saw an issue. Cats aren't like the cats in Radiant Dawn that grew to a large size. Here, the cats are going to be the size of house cats, more specialized for stealth and espionage than for fighting. We can say that the Cats in RD were actually Leopards due to their big size.
Neela can still be a feline Laguz if you want her to be. However, if you want her to be big enough to take down a human when she was just a kitten (which makes me scratch my head, but let's see what Sol says about it), you can make her a cougar or panther Laguz or something.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Innsert
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I wasn't sure if we had to introduce how we were related to the current conflict/war. In any case I was figuring a Lord (probably one of the players) would have information about Daisy and would promise Daisy her land if she helped their cause. Idk. Just a thought.

Also- how do we feel about multiple characters? I was thinking a spirit charmer would be pretty interesting.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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TwilightDragon Dragon of the Night Sky

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Also- how do we feel about multiple characters? I was thinking a spirit charmer would be pretty interesting.


We said you'd be able to make multiple characters, but you have to develop them all. ^^

Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Solace
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Solace 𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

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Time to begin the overview of character sheets.

I get down to the little details when it comes to it, like the spelling of words; this is because of my intense OCD / perfectionism. I request these changes to be made before I accept your character(s), or if I have any questions / issues, we discuss them before posting in the Characters tab.

I'll also, uh, comment on stuff that I like a lot.




~Equipment~
Staff, Vulnerary x3


Should be "Heal Staff" if that's what she has. Or "Mend Staff", and so forth.

~Appearance~
Her legs are long and toned from travelling on horseback


traveling*

~Personality~
It is not uncommon to think that a Troubodour such as Aelia Theroux would have a sunny and upbeat personality, but she does not fit the common healer stereotype. She is brash and bitter and is not afraid of stating what's on her mind, no matter if people are likely to punch her in the face. When it comes to healing, her hands do not have the "tender touch" of other medics; she is rather rough with her patients and will often tell the ones who are making a fuss to be quiet.

Despite being a sour woman most of the time, Aelia is known to stress and fret over the people who she cares about. Unfortunately, the stress only makes her become aggressive, rash, and even more blunt than she was before. She is known to charge headlong into battle to rescue a fallen comrade without a moment of thought during these times of extreme anxiety.

Surprisingly, there are instances of some people approaching Aelia to seek advice. Due to being painfully truthful and not holding back in telling someone they're being "idiotic" or "stupid", she is known to be a good consultant.


troubadour*

The issue that I have with this portion pertaining to her status as a healer, the magic associated with healing is considered holy and would technically require a kindred spirit to operate in order to be effective.

It's similar to how, in order to master the fell arts of dark magic, the chances of the individual not succumbing to the fell arts itself would be near impossible, if the principle of light magic/healing requiring some form of purity would be applied.

~Biography~
Ever since Aelia was a small girl, she was the prized possession of her father. Being a member of House Theroux, a minor Cliacian noble family known for its practioning in magic, her parents made sure that she was treated well by others. It was her father that taught her how to heal using staves while her mother showed her how to ride horses. She would become one of the many Troubadours that House Theroux raised as per tradition.

Her father left the household to fight in a war when she was only six years old.

*snip*

Unable to deal with living in the city any longer, Aelia left and moved north when she was twenty.


practice*

The issue with your biography is that there has been no major war/conflict for a very, very long time, as mentioned in the first post. There have only been small disputes over land, which are just that; small disputes, that of which are not armed conflicts and end in brevity. Though this is a small detail, it seems to conflict with the entirety of your biography, so I'll leave it at that.

The biography should also detail up until the synopsis of the plot for Part I, where people are volunteering along with the army to stop the rebellion, and et citera.




I actually only have time to do this one character sheet, but I'll see if I have time next block. If not, I'll be home in a few hours to continue working, but I guess you can say this is an example of how I analyze character sheets. :^)
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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I just realized how many spelling mistakes I have in there.

Note to self: always proofread. Especially when you made the character when you're tired.

Jesus, Sol, I forgot that you have hawk eyes for these kind of things. XD

I'll work on it when I get home, as long as fix up the bio.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Jester Acharis
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Jester Acharis Overlord

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Here and still interested! Can't write anything up today, but will get back to you later. Still gotta read through all the information, too.

@solace "Travelling" is also correct and used quite a bit outside of the US.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by TwilightDragon
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I'll use traveling. It looks weird with two 'l's anyway. :)
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Solace
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Solace 𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

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@solace "Travelling" is also correct and used quite a bit outside of the US.


I personally prefer a single l, since it's the way I was always taught to write while growing up. I do know you can use two l's, it's just my OCD.

It seems I may have some more free time in this class, so I'll try to go through the next one.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Jester Acharis
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<Snipped quote by Jester Acharis>

I personally prefer a single l, since it's the way I was always taught to write while growing up. I do know you can use two l's, it's just my OCD.

It seems I may have some more free time in this class, so I'll try to go through the next one.


I get you, man. Just wanted to point that out in case you weren't aware, since I was taught to write it with two and all.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Solace
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Solace 𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

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Species (if Laguz): Cat, her cat form is primarily light blond, but with a blue streak going down the back of her head and back, all the way to the tip of her tail.


Same as Twilight said before; with the inclusion of all species for Laguz, the "Leopard" species would be more fitting for the combative feline species, since a Caf in this sense would be like, the average housecat. It's just a matter of titling, really, no big problem here.

Personality:
To her fellow Laguz she can be seen being most nice and respectful to them. Being kind too all her Laguz brethren

To Beorcs now, she can become slightly aggressive. Having a hatred of them ever since she was a child(Or kitten if I want to use puns) Going such lengths as to rather dying than to be saved by one, even if she is being rescued by nothing more than an innocent child.

There has only been one Beorc that she DID trust and liked, but with him gone

Her hearing is pretty great, sometimes great enough that it even annoys her sometimes

Although their are ways to figure this out so its slightly useless, her sense of direction is top notch.


For every underline in the quote, I'll reply separately.

to*

I think it's the way that this is worded, but I am under the impression that, if rewritten, it is saying that Neela has such a dislike for Beorc that even if her life was endangered, she'd rather die than bludgeon her pride, even if it's a child saving her.

like*

I think it should be "pretty good" instead of pretty great.

there* and it's*

It's orimarily just the wording. I think her personality, as a Laguz, is standard and good enough; she'll definitely like one of my first two characters who shares almost the exact sentiments as she does.

Though, I do have a question: why is she aiming to volunteer for the Beorc's call to stop the rebellion who started their revolt because the Emperor declined allegations of endorsing the enslavement of Laguz in Cliace? Is she going to be against us, and something happens where she ends up joining us?

*biography here*


I'm actually kind of confused. So the person who acted as her guardian for however long just up and left after Neela defended herself? A number of Beorc may be racist towards the Laguz, but if he willingly looked after her, I don't think he was one of these Beorc, nor do I think he would just leave. He also seemed to have just left without making the observation that the man was armed, either.

I mean, I can accept your character, it's just that the biography was fairly.. strange. Like, things just happened spontaneously, almost as if it were solely for the sake of just happening so there would be a biography. I don't know, it's just not my cup of tea. It's nothing that would make me not accept it, though.

What is holding me back from doing so is the question from before: what is her involvement in Part I? The biography should lead up to the plot, but with how her personality is, it seems like she would be against us first.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Innsert
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Innsert

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-shifts uneasily while awaiting Solace's judgment and wrath-
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Demous
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Demous White Rose OTP

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Alright sweet. I'llget a sheet up as soon as I can!
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