[@World Traveler] Your sheet is really coming along and we understand it clearly now, well done on your development. Our main point of critique is that we feel the powerset should be related exclusively to his eyes. If the dark matter collects in his eyes, we don't feel it makes sense for him to release it through other parts of his body. It should be released in Cyclops-style blasts from his eyes. We still like his power to shape the dark matter into items, but he would have to simply release an amount of darkness from his eyes and mold that as he pleases. In terms of making people blind, we think 'infecting' someone doesn't fly. It doesn't make sense to us that he could touch someone and make them blind for a few hours. Instead, we think it should be much more temporary; he releases energy from his eyes and directs it to the eyes of his target, making them blind. It only stays there for as long as he 'holds' it there; when he stops it dissipates. We also aren't keen on him having a seeing-eye dog on campus. We don't feel that getting rid of this element will effect his character too much; he is still able to have a cane or similar to help him navigate, and the school will have braille translations on its signs. A dog would just disrupt the dynamic we have in our opinion. Other than these few points, we really like how Devin has shaped up and with a few final adjustments we would love to accept him. [@LokiLeo789] We love Kane as a character! We still think there is a bit of work to be done with the application, however. He is still too informal in areas (especially in the powers section), so that needs to be brought more in line with the formality - however you have done a great job with changing this elsewhere. Unfortunately, we don't like his new power. We hate offering criticism that isn't constructive, as we know how frustrating it can be. However with this power there isn't really much advice we can give you other than to pick a different one. We don't like the idea of a character who 'knows what is coming' and it is unlikely that adjustments will change our stance. We're sorry to ask you to redraft your power a third time; rather than writing up something new, why not get in touch with one of us in PM or via Skype? That way you can pitch ideas to us before dedicating so much time on ideas that don't pass; we can see how much work you are putting in and we don't want to see any more of it wasted! As a side note, we also preferred the old image reference for Kane's appearance. His personality is really the thing that we most love and we have said this from the beginning; and we feel the original image you used reflected this more. The grey mohawked, face-paint wearing Kane just seems like a completely different type of person to us. Thanks for your application and good luck with making adjustments. Please feel free to get in touch about any ideas you have as we would really love to see Kane make it into the roleplay. [@LetterA] We love your sheet. The changes you've made to Jinkee's power are great and much more manageable in a roleplay situation. We would like to see the corrosive qualities of the mucus be a little less instant; by all means it should burn instantly, but to actually corrode solids like flesh or especially metal and stone away, it should be a much longer process in our opinion. Other than this minor detail, we love the sheet and as soon as it is fixed and a sample post added, we would be glad to accept this character. [@Liriia] We love your sheet. You've really developed PK's powers to something that will be really interesting to play with, and she's just so damn cute. The only thing we would like to specify is that we feel her invisibility feature should only be usable when she (or her target) is stood still. As you are bending light around a target, we feel they would have to be stood still for you to effectively make them invisible. Personally, I especially loved your story about the fireflies on the bayou, which was an excellent touch. As soon as you have made this minor specification to the powers and added a sample post, let us know and we will be glad to accept you. [@He Who Walks Behind] We love your finished sheet, you've made a lot of development based on your first application. Lynn is accepted! Please fix the Indent code for the Personal Statement section, and then post her sheet in the character thread. Welcome aboard! [hr] [@Prints Avoid] We are so sorry we overlooked your post! The OOC has been pretty busy, as you can see - so we're sorry for making you wait! We've discussed the powerset and we both love it, it would be a really interesting power to see applied to a character and so we can't wait to see the sheet, if you're still interested in applying. One thing we both agreed on is that we would like the power to be a 'psychic'/'cerebral' type. Trying to explain what we mean as basically as possible, the power wouldn't effect [i]him[/i] and make him imperceptible. He would use the power to effect other people's minds, causing him to be imperceptible specifically to that person. He can do this to more than one person at once, but naturally the more people he effects, the more difficult he finds it. Weaknesses of this approach to the power would be that it has no effects on machines etc, which is a really important drawback for us. We also think that some developed psychics would be able to block out the power, or at least notice it is being used. Please let us know what you think about our suggestions, as it is equally important for you to be happy with the power as it is for us. We are sorry we missed your first post. [hr] [@Tearstone] There is a lot of discussion surrounding your character for what is a reasonably straightforward task of filling in a form. We get the impression that we are missing the 'bigger picture'; would you perhaps get in touch with us privately? We feel a more direct conversation about this would help us understand better and allow us to reach a conclusion. We suggest Skype. [hr] [center][h1]Skype[/h1][/center] Shard and I are on Skype whilst ever we are on our computers, and it's a great platform not only to talk about the roleplay, but to get to know each other personally. If you wish to be a part of a Skype groupchat for the people of this RP, then add me on Skype and I will arrange it. My Skype username is facebook:upsetboulevard.