Hasse, Trandoshan.
Unmarked Jizz Club, Coruscant
Deep behind the innumerable shadowy corners of the club's "personal" rooms and beneath a cloud of deathstick vapor, a foul deal went down. On one end of the table, a massive, evidently female Hutt twiddled her fingers, greedily. She was flanked by a pair of heavily-clothed humanoid guards. Though they wore heavy sack-cloth robes, they barely attempted to conceal the powerful weaponry and exotic armors hidden underneath.
On the other side of the table was Hasse, who dutifully opened a satchel slung over his shoulder. Carefully, he withdrew a small, unassuming
novelty padlock, and placed it on the table. The Hutt regarded the Lockseed with pleasure, fully aware of its potential power. With a squeaky-croaking voice, the Hutt chortled bubbily and smiled at the Trandoshan.
"You're doing well, Hasse. With these...
toys, my little boys will make mynocks of that
pervert in no time! Your payment will be forthcoming, under the usual account. So, tell me... what does
this one do?"
Hasse grunted, and leaned forward. It pained him to steal from his colleagues like this, but the prices
she offered were enough to dissuade his guilt.
"For what you're paying, I decided to
treat you a little. I've swiped it off one of my more... secure colleagues, at extensive personal cost. Evidently, this little toy provides the usual armor and weapon... supposedly themed after a foul-smelling Earthman fruit. The weapons, of course, come in pairs-- in the form of two blades. They're heavy and unwieldy, but sharper than a vibroblade."
The Hutt clasped her hands together in glee, and snatched the Lockseed from the table.
"
Good work, Hasse! Yes... I know just who to give this to. Keep the
toys coming, and I'll keep the credits flowing. We're done here. Boys, load me into the hoverchair-- I'm taking us on a
special trip!"
Hasse was out of the room before the Hutt could shanghai him into hoisting her bloated form up, and fled into the bustling neon-lit streets of Coruscant. Hasse hoped his comrades wouldn't note his absence. Perhaps they'd think he was off celebrating?
Roidmude 096, Spider-Type Roidmude
Baron von Tökentakker's Fantastic Seven-Circle Carnevil
"It's the FREAK SHOW, THE FREAK SHOW-- See the
STRANGE and
BIZZARE!
Step right up we'd love to see you-- WE THINK
YOU COULD BE THE
STARWOOHOOHAHAHAHA!!"
096 was quite happy that his good friend's advice had turned out to be correct-- this
was the greatest show on earth! Other circuses always threw him out when he showed up without a ticket, but
this one didn't! In fact, all the workers laughed and smiled and tried to play with 096 in the way he liked best! They didn't fight too well and fell apart at the slightest touch, but these guys
really put passion into their work!
Laughing gleefully, Roidmude 096 crushed a hideous half-human fly under his feet, firing energy blasts wildly at the crowd of freaks and monsters swarming around him. This was so fun, he had almost totally forgotten about how terrible that Rider in the pink hoodie and white scarf was!
Left unattended in his joyous ignorance, Roidmude 096's teleporter sent out a blaring dimensional signal across the multiverse. Were anyone to be searching for the people responsible for the attack on the museum, they'd find Roidmude 096's signal first and foremost.
"
Today is the best day
ever!"