[h3][b]Important Note: I need to change the CS a tad bit. I am splitting the flaws section into combat flaws and personality flaws. For the ruling of having half as many flaws as strengths will apply to combat flaws only. Personality flaws will be dealt with differently and instead, you must have two or more - this can be social issues, fears, hangups, anger issues, etc, etc. Sorry for the inconvience!~ I have to change my own, haha.[/b][/h3] [quote=@Irisity] --Snip-- [/quote] [b]Mylisant Feyla[/b] - This is actually done really well. She may be a thief, but you can clearly see her being the hero type. You also took the emotional tragedy I had set up and did you're own. Awesome. The only things I'd like to see fixed mainly are - she's allowed to have a little more skill [u]if you want[/u]. However I think you missed the point of abilities. They aren't taught skills or anything, they are Deep Magic abilities, things your character can do because of the gift that are beyond human. Right now it just reads as awesome skills. :p Also Blacksmithing & Aezilia flaws aren't really anything the enemy can use to specifically take an advantage of her, so I'd like to see more flaws for a combat situation. Ugh, now I need to add another section for combat flaws & personality flaws, roflmao... my bad. [b]Ybella[/b] - You're lucky I'm so nice. ^.^ I originally had no deserts at all in my setting, but I didn't like the idea of making you rework your WHOLE CSs just because of this. So I added a desert island that is south of the main land and also added it to the player's manual for anyone else to read. :) I'll add this kingdom to the characters tab. [quote=@Inertia] --Snip-- [/quote] [b]Chase [/b]- I'll have to look at the kingdom later, because your character kind of concerns me... mostly because it feels as if you pretty much read Cerylia and copy/pasted her into male form. =X Even his skills and legendary abilities are practically the same. >.> [quote=@Tendo] To sum up, Bryn blindly follows every whim of his masters, be it to poison a pregnant princess or to abduct a duke's favorite hunting dog. Yet, deep down, he has started to slowly question his existence, what he is, what he is supposed to be and what he would like to be. Human Weapon - Since the day he could stand on his feet, his masters have done their best to strip him of every single sign of his humanity, of every single emotion and of any thoughts of his own. He is a machine bred and raised in order to do all those things god-fearing men cannot, hollow, unaware of the beauty of life simply because he was never given the smallest chance to. Truly a weapon which looks like a human. [/quote] So... he sounds cool, certainly... and I hate to do this, because I can tell you've done work on this character but the above [i]alone[/i] makes it very iffy for him to be a part of a heroic company, don't you think? He may have a human side to him, but he blindly follows orders? Doesn't have any humanity left? Sounds more like an NPC the group would run into than a member. Also, not having humanity isn't exactly a flaw, because how does the enemy expose that into an advantage? If he were made more moral or human, I guess in some way, it'd be much better. ^.^ [quote=@TheWizardLizard] [b]Personality:[/b] Tobias is without question a loner, and has some definite issues working with others. His reliance on plans and preparation has given him a sort of control-freak obsessive compulsive problem, where he'll kinda lose it if everything isn't just so or he feels like someone else is messing up. He has a soldier's wit, but he can't really express positive emotion very well and has general problems connecting with other people. He means well, and a lot of what he does is to make the world safer for other people, so he tends to express himself through actions rather than words. No Social Skills: Tobias is really bad at dealing with people. He's a terrible liar, a godawful charmer, and is generally just not good at winning people over. He doesn't play well with others and can never find the right words to say even when he genuinely intends to be nice to people (which is... infrequent). No Magic: As below, he has no affinity with Weave Magic whatsoever. For a full day he fought the monster... [/quote] Just a few concerns here and there, but before doing that - [i]this is actually a very well thought out character.[/i] ^.^ The part that concerns me first was his personality. I think it's fine to have some social awkwardness, I mean after all Cerylia isn't letting anyone that close for a while (maybe), but you took it a step further. It makes me cautious to whether he can actually work inside a group at all at this point. Second was the flaws. The first one listed is the same concern as above - if he can't work well with others, how can we expect him to group up with everyone and go on this adventure? I almost see him as just leaving the group and having his own private adventure, away from this RP... which I don't want to see. The second one really isn't a flaw, because no enemy could realistically take advantage of it. There are thousands of people who don't know magic (since it takes study, which I should note, but thought it was obvious haha) so it's not exactly a specific flaw that a character has... someone without combat knowledge in a fight can be taken specific advantage of by getting in their face with a mace - see? There's no [i]real[/i] downfall to not knowing magic. The last minor nick pick is, it's unlikely a fight would last a full day, let alone both parties having the endurance to fight for so long. ^.^ Otherwise, I really do like the character. He seems much more like a jack of trades wilderness person than a ranger, so that's cool. [quote=@Knight of Doom] --Snip-- [/quote] He looks pretty cool... and you've put some thought into it. Just make sure he doesn't seem to be this cold killing machine (which I saw his personality) but at the same time, try and explain how he got into the business of killing and doesn't like killing. Seems a bit of an oxymoron, so I'd be cautious here. ^.^ [quote=@Pirouette] If it pleases, I promised I'd keep an eye out on this and I have something in mind that will be more unique. [/quote] Sounds great Pirouette!~ [@Midori] - I look forward to that character being done!~