Side note, I'll try and have a post up sometime within the next 12 hours if I can, since it's been a while. Also, Beo's internet died again, I swear this RP is cursed.
Since no one else addressed it, I will. Here's an edited version of your post, @Rare, with some questions and comments from me.
Slash= cut Bold= something I edited Italics= something questionable grammatically Underline= I recommend rewriting this {}= my notes
Javier then decided to sit down on the ground next to the written words on the wall. He had been walking for almost an hour or more, shouldn't he deserve a break? Looking around, he could see the other members of the team spreading out. Christina was walking towards the flare, that he threw earlier, and Red was just being herself as always. Even though they hadn't met before all of this, he knew that Red and anyone else weren't getting along right away; but once they get to know each other—or get used to being with them—, they (being Javier and the others) might become good friends.
Suddenly, a light appeared on the subway train and Javier quickly stood up from the ground. He grabbed his MP9 pistol and quickly aimed it at the train. Until, a soldier—another female—appeared from the train and walked into the group. Javier raised one eyebrow at the woman as she said 'howdy' and then asked for some gum. Red was confused at the sight of the soldier from the train and then just walked away from the train to the tents. Awkward silence followed after the introduction, Javier walked up to her and said with a confused tone, "Hello.".
Suddenly, Javier was cut off by Warren as he gave her some gum, which she accepted and put it inside one of the pockets on her. Javier sighed resignedly at the present of Warren, such he was a great fighter and technician; but, he seemed to enjoy humor more than work (based off on the hour spent getting to know him and the others). Warren called out her name and said that the girl was going to join the team. Javier must of forgot to mention the new girl on the team; thankfully, Warren just told them anyways. But then, he does something that grinds Javier's teeth. He just calls in the command and tells him that we had her—without his approval. You don't do things without the leader's approval and that was a big issue for Javier.
Javier started to sigh again as he was getting even more worried (and still upset because of Warren) since they are standing in a dark tunnel with barely any light source. All of this tension was just getting to him, he needs to see the light again and just rest; but, they have to go to the police station and make a stop at the UN building for equipment pickup from the new girl. She can make any excuse up, they are going no matter what. Tracie didn't have the standard gear—even if she was from Ghost Recon. They didn't have access to the current equipment that the Division has. Plus, they have to check into the HQ because of standard protocol of The Division. Every agent has to check into the HQ database by signing in at the HQ—not by radio them that they are in the city.
{I wonder why Tracie wouldn't have Division equipment if she'd just led a Division squad days before.}
He was going to say something to the new girl; however, she mentioned about the current state of the city. People have either joined gangs or live like rats, streets cleared of life form. Javier became even more worried about being the leader and scared of the gangs, because he just didn't want to kill people trying to survive—unless they fire back first. After she was answering Warren's question, they go to the dead body and check it out. Now, it was finally time for Javier to talk for the first time.
"Alright, listen up." he said loudly enough that his voice should of got the group's awareness towards him, "Now that we got our the new girl, we need to go to the police station. Then, we will check in at the United Nations building and we will debrief after signing into HQ. We can't do it over the radio because of standard protocol that The Division has." He then looked towards Warren and said loudly as if they were talking, "Plus, we were supposed to be in radio silence. Don't use it, unless it's an emergency. Got it?".
Jaiver didn't hate Warren, he just dislikes for what he did and hope that he never does it again. Now that was over, he began to walk towards the new girl and said to her with a serious tone, "Welcome to the team, Armond. When we are at the UN building, we will get you the right equipment and make sure that it's updated and usable. The CIA didn't even know about The Division and the updates to the equipment until the President signed it and The Division was already established. You don't get to have a say about it, because we are going with or without your word.".
{So you're saying that the Central Intelligence Agency, the organization who's job it is to collect information, was blind to the POTUS' actions during a crisis? Unlikely.}
He realized that his outburst was harsh and said to her, "Sorry about that outburst, just being in this dark tunnel for about an hour is driving me a bit crazy. Once we get back to the surface, I should get back to normal.
I'm afraid that this post doesn't meet the expectations of the first rule you set out for us. Above all else I think a GM ought to meet his/her own expectations of standards. It's not good enough just to have the idea, you need to fulfill on the idea, as well.
@The New Yorker, I thank you for going over my post and fixing my errors. As a GM, I know that I am supposed to follow the rules--like anyone else. As you may/may not know, English isn't my first language and I am not using it as a excuse. I am working on ways to improve my grammar over the summer break. Thursday will be my last day of school and I am doing finals until that day.
Which means that I will be able to overlook and improve my grammar this summer. That's one of my goals. Again, I thank you for doing this and I promise that It wouldn't happen again.
@The New Yorker, I thank you for going over my post and fixing my errors. As a GM, I know that I am supposed to follow the rules--like anyone else. As you may/may not know, English isn't my first language and I am not using it as a excuse. I am working on ways to improve my grammar over the summer break. Thursday will be my last day of school and I am doing finals until that day.
Which means that I will be able to overlook and improve my grammar this summer. That's one of my goals. Again, I thank you for doing this and I promise that It wouldn't happen again.
I'm sorry if I sound nitpicky, but since you said you're trying to improve, I figured I'd mention that in the last paragraph of this post here, you should use "look over" instead of "overlook," since "overlook" means to ignore something. (English is dumb like that)
Still, it's nice to see someone put an effort in and I appreciate that you're not getting mad about it! I've met a lot of people that don't have English as a first languge who get offended when you suggest they have grammar errors in their posts.
Anyway, I'm late on my own post so I should get working on that.
@The New Yorker, I thank you for going over my post and fixing my errors. As a GM, I know that I am supposed to follow the rules--like anyone else. As you may/may not know, English isn't my first language and I am not using it as a excuse. I am working on ways to improve my grammar over the summer break. Thursday will be my last day of school and I am doing finals until that day.
Which means that I will be able to overlook and improve my grammar this summer. That's one of my goals. Again, I thank you for doing this and I promise that It wouldn't happen again.
I'm afraid you'll have to consider that my resignation letter. I find myself suddenly, and completely, disinterested in the story. There's nothing that can be done about it, unfortunately. I wish you all the best, and hope your future prospects are successful.
1x Thank
