I sexually Identify as a Turtle. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of crawling very slowly across the street annoying people who pass by. People say to me that a person being a Turtle is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a [b]giant[/b], and very [b]hard[/b]. They would also make my skin green. From now on I want you guys to call me “TurtleMaster69” and respect my right to walk as slowly as possible across the street needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a turtlephobe and need to check your awesome reptile privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.