Lila raised her eyes towards Jareth's, incredulous. "Okay?" If he knew what had really happened, he'd never suggest she was doing 'okay'. But that was the point, right? He didn't know. "I haven't been doing okay. I've never been the same since that day. I've been numb, empty You know why I never called back? Why you barely saw me anywhere anymore? I just couldn't bear to face you or the world knowing that..."

Lila took a deep breath. She had to tell him, try to make him understand the reasons of her actions. It was something she hadn't told anyone, not even her friends. "I was pregnant, Jar. We were going to have a baby, and I was ecstatic to tell you. I had never felt so happy and excited for our future in some time: we were on our way to building the family we always dreamed of having. I had this big surprise planned to tell you on Valentine's Day, but then that day before we had that talk, and I couldn't bear to tell you. I was scared you thought I was faking it or looking for a way to keep you with me or something. And so I went back home . When I woke up the next morning, I had these horrible cramps in my back an lower abdomen, and I was bleeding. I didn't even had the chance to get up when I felt some blood clots passing..."

Lila's voice broke and she began to sob, reliving the memories of that terrible day: how she lay in a pool of blood, scared and shocked out of her wits, trembling, looking at the perfect creation she and Jareth had made; their little piece of heaven that would never live. "I lost our baby, Jar. At seven weeks. It fell onto my hand, and it was so tiny and beautiful and perfect. I was so broken-hearted. I'd lost you, then I lost our child." She sank onto the bed and put her face in her hands, loud sobs rippling from her body. The pain of her loss still stung her, running deep in her veins.

It was a few minutes later when Lila had somewhat regained her composure and looked up at him again with swollen red eyes. "I spent the first month of the break-up in a mental hospital. I checked myself in before I did anything to hurt myself. To everyone, I was just on a study trip, and only my professors knew where I was, but not why. I began to feel better, and when they were sure I wasn't in any risk, I was discharged. The meds, along with the sweets, made me gain weight, so I set my focus on getting my body back along with getting back on track with school. This didn't ease the pain, simply distracted me from it. Every time you saw me, I was only calm and collected because of the meds. I never contacted you after I got out because I didn't want to bother you with all this and I figured you were doing so much better without me... " Lila's eyes filled with tears again. "I don't know why it happened, but even though the doctors told me it isn't, I know it was my fault. It was [i]all my fault[/i]. I wasn't good enough for both of you. I'm so [i]worthless[/i]!"