A judge, curly wig and all, sat on a podium. He was a stereotypical Grey alien, clutching his gavel. He turned to the Jury, a spectrum of bizarre aliens that conferred before the judge brought the court to order. A cereal box with alien writing on it sat in the defendant's chair.

"In the case of The People vs. Crookleberries Cereal, how does the jury rule on the first count: containing all the vitamins and minerals necessary for a balanced breakfast?"

"The jury finds the defendant Guilty."

"And on the second count, containing nutritious whole-grains, four scoops of delicious Crookleberries, and a fun prize in every box?"

"Guilty."

"And on the third, and final, count, refusing to get soggy in milk?"

"Guilty, your honor."

"On all counts, the jury finds the defendant guilty. The sentence is death."

As the Judge brought down his gavel, there was a smash cut to the box of cereal in an old-fashioned electric chair. The security guards threw a switch, and a bright glow accompanied the sound of electricity as the camera panned to the judge, a priest, and a security guard enjoying a bowl of cereal. Another cut showed the cereal box, burnt and blackened, next to a tall glass of a flourescent green liquid and a bowl of reddish milk filled with flakes and sizeable dried berries. The judge turned to the camera.

"Crookleberries Cereal. So tasty, it's almost a crime."

The three shared a hearty laugh as they enjoyed their cereal.

[i]Warning: on some planets, consumption of Crookleberries actually is a crime. Viewing this commercial waives any legal right to sue Badurong Agricultural or its affiliates for litigation resulting from illicit consumption of Crookleberries.[/i]
[hr]
"IN DARK COLD OF SPACE, MANY GIVE UP HOPE OF JUSTICE! BUT WE AM BE FIGHT FOR YOU!"

A ten-foot-tall toad-like creature in a well-made suit sat in a study, the heads of various sentient aliens and a number of swords, axes, and pulse cannons mounted on the wall.

"HELLO! ME AM GRELTHAX, LAW-WARRIOR OF PLANET GROK. GROK PRACTICE TRIAL BY COMBAT, BUT JUST BECAUSE WE AM STRONG DOES NOT MEAN WE AM UNPREPARE TO FIGHT FOR YOU IN REGULAR TRIAL!"

With a large squelch, a pustule on the back of Grelthax's neck burst, and a palm-sized version stood shakily on his hand.

"GRELTHAX AND SPAWN AM PART OF RACE WITH GENETIC MEMORY. JUST AS GRELTHAX PASS BAR EXAM AND HAVE THIRTY YEAR AND COUNTING LEGAL EXPERIENCE, SO DO ASEXUALLY PRODUCED SPAWN OF GRELTHAX! WHEN GRELTHAX CREATE SPAWN, IT HAVE FULL EXTENT OF GRELTHAX'S LEGAL EXPERIENCE- READY TO WORK FOR YOU!"


"GRELTHAX AND SPAWN LAW FIRM! WE FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT! CALL NOW!"
[hr]
"Ve really messed up dis time, eh Loot?"

"Aye, Pillage. This be why ye should always correct yer calculations."

"Just imagine! Ve could have hit something that could actually hurt someone!"

The two hung by chains wrapped around their ankles over a vat of boiling oil. A Newdur, a faceless lump of flesh with lanky arms and legs, proceeded to press a button and watch. As the two were lowered into the deep fryer, a graphic for the Conquest Hour appeared, and the camera cut back to the studio.

[hr]
[h2]Video Star[/h2]
"AAAAAAND WE'RE BACK! It looks like Pterrordactyl's been busy! These meters are just flying, but it looks like he's finishing up at the school! You just know he's got something in store if he's letting them calm down like this. For now, let's wait for him to come back!"

[hr]

[h2]Bright Academy[/h2]
Pterrordactyl gave a satisfied sigh, kicking a cell phone out of a teacher's hands as he whistled, walking away the KO'd gym teacher and up to Yuki. He picked her up by her shirt and stared into her terror-filled eyes.

"A city full of heroes, Yuki! And none of them cared. Your police certainly didn't. And by the way, the stuff happening with your parents? It's your fault. See you later, little Yuki-chan."

With that, he threw the little girl into the fish tank, cackling as he took off and uttered a prehistoric shriek.

"PTEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRDAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

Afterward, he chuckled, smiling to the fellow alien, taking a picture of himself from his bag.

"Oh, sure, always nice to meet a fan. I'm in the middle of the game right now, but I'll be picking it up again later. Can I ask who I'm making this out to?"