Well crap, here came the guilt. Suto's nerves were understandably strained from all that had gone on, putting him on edge. In any other circumstance he'd never have snapped at someone like that, certainly not to a little girl. She had been a tad rude in interrupting them, but it didn't deserve the rebuttal he had given. Sighing softly he shook his head, excusing himself quickly from the room to chase after the young girl. Unfortunately he hadn't seen where she went, so he needed to methodically check the rooms just to figure out where she had slipped off to. One door after another Suto knocked, offering several apologies as he interrupted other players or woke some up. Feeling pretty bad over himself for being so curt he wasn't well going to leave it alone, not until he had apologized and set things straight.
The last door on this floor, of course it was the last one, he chided himself. This wasn't going to be terribly delightful, probably awfully awkward, but he needed to make things right. Exhaling softly he put on the most polite of smiles he could muster, gently rapping his knuckles against the hardwood door.
"Uh... Hey kid...? You in there? Can we talk?" Suto called, perhaps forgetting that it was near impossible for anyone to hear somebody outside their room with the door closed. Just to make sure he knocked again, stepping back and folding his hands behind his back to wait.
Go away… just go away… The girl prayed to herself, rocking back and forth. If only she could disappear… A knock at the door and she held her breath; maybe it was an accident. They could be looking for somebody else. Certainly it wasn’t one of the guys from downstairs coming up to find her, right? She heard the last voice she wanted to come through the wood and she wiped her face, unable to resist the scowl that came forth.
“Why? So you can tell me off without knowing who the hell I am again? No thanks,” She said coldly, despite the loss of power in her words when her voice cracked and she had to sniffle, approaching the door.
As it swung open, she stared daggers through her slightly puffy eyes at Suto, her fist shaking at her side while she sneered through her tears. The teenager was an absolute mess, this much was clear due to her glistening cheeks. It was quite surprising how strong she appeared despite this fact, though, as she stood in an almost battle-stance at the threshold, her small form ready to slam the door in his face.
"No.... No that's not it at all!" Suto retorted, frowning as he looked at the door fitfully. "I came to apologize, alright? Will you open up?"
Suto knew there was no reason for the girl to let him inside, he certainly didn't deserve it. After how he'd behaved just a moment ago she could very well just have ignored him and not been in the wrong at all. To his surprise she did come to the door, opening it and greeting him with a rather distraught look on her face. It instantly smacked him in the face just how rude he had been to this girl, even if it wasn't really his fault entirely. Smiling nervously he lifted a hand to itch at his nose, not quite sure how to begin.
"Uh... I just wanted to say sorry, for snapping at you. It was out of line, and we probably should have closed our door." Looking at the girl's face again he cringed, mentally kicking himself for causing this. He really hated upsetting someone that much, it just wasn't in him to be that guy. Akwardly he took a step back, putting his arms at his sides and bowing down in a show of apology. "Please don't be upset, I'm sorry for everything."
Kimi didn't move until he took his bow and she rose a hand, shaking her head with a sigh, "It's okay." She stepped back and gave a silent invitation for him to enter, sitting down on the edge of the bed, staring blankly downward as she worked to swallow her pride, "I don't even know where I was going... I shouldn't have interrupted whatever was going on," She said.
However, she was still one who rather lacked social ability, "Close the door, please. What happened?" Her gaze moved over to Suto with the slightest curiosity.
"N-No! Don't apologize, it's cool, really," Suto said quickly, smiling as he stood back up. "Water under the bridge, yeah? It never happened as far as I'm concerned."
Now that he'd apologized shouldn't he get going? He wanted to bury the hatchet first, and it seemed like that had been done. In good conscience however he still couldn't leave, not with the girl looking as down as she was. Feeling quite the pang of sympathy then when she asked him to stay and chat, inadvertantly perhaps, he readily agreed. Nodding his head Suto stepped right on inside, softly closing the door behind himself before taking a seat in the chair opposite of the girl. She had to ask what had happened, a topic that he'd prefer not to discuss with it being so fresh still. Maybe saying something would help though, goodness knows he could use it.
"Well... We're part of the Clearers, my friends and I. We've been working at it since the earliest floors, and we've always been at the frontlines. Up until today we've been very lucky, not a single one of us was lost. We had some close calls, sure, but everyone had made it along well enough."
Now came the part he wanted to leave well alone and just as soon forget. Doing that would be an injustice to Yari's memory though, and he knew fully enough if he let it fester it would only become worse. Sighing somberly Suto looked down at his hands, rubbing them together before nervously twisting his fingers.
"This last boss we fought, it was... Different. No one knew how the boss was going to act, so we were cautious going into the fight. All the caution and planning in the world didn't prepare us enough though... Our friend Yari... She was one of the strongest in the group, if not THE strongest..." Suto shook his head, trying to keep himself together. His eyes had rather quickly begun to sting with tears and he could feel his lower lip trembling. He didn't want to cry, not now, not in front of some stranger. Yet he was very hard pressed not to do so.
"The fight started, and things seemed a bit... Off... But we kept going anyways. We were even doing really well, got its health down low. Yari... She shouldn't have gone after it... None of us know how it happened, or why. She just... She was there one second... And gone the next..." Suto found himself slouched over in his seat, arms crossed tightly to his chest. His cheeks were becoming damp with tears, but he couldn't well help it now.
"She's dead... She's really dead... This game took her away from us..."
Now the tears were allowed to flow in earnest, the magnitude of the event finally sinking in. Yari, his lifelong friend, was gone forever. From the game, from the real world, completely gone. They wouldn't even get to attend her funeral now, all that would be waiting for them, if they did return, would be a cold slab of stone. Not the warm smiling face of their friend or her supportive words. Along with the flow of tears came audible sobs, and Suto was holding himself pitifully.
"She can't be dead... She can't be! She... She's too strong to die!" he cried, leaning over and giving a frustrated shake of his head. "Damn it all!"
Kimi blinked as the boy told his story, faltering, “O-oh…” Nice work… You picked the wrong people to get mad at, she silently scolded. She hesitantly reached forward and placed a hand on Suto’s knee, “I’m… Really sorry for your loss…” She truly had no idea how to behave in a situation like this one, as with most situations, and she retracted her hand as he began to deny reality.
What should one say to this? That yes, she’s dead, that reality is hard? No, he knows that… At least she didn’t feel any pain? That’s not comforting, because she’s still gone. “Well… Erm… W-with friends like you guys… I’m sure she’s happy…” There was a pause as she gauged his response, not that she was exactly skilled at reading people, “B-because she may be gone… But she’ll, uh, never be forgotten – right?” She tried to make the statement reassuring, but it came out more like a question and she fidgeted again. Of course the statement was a little bit cliché, but at the same time, she had truly meant it… “After all… That’s all we can ask for in this world… To be seen… known… Cared about… To someday leave knowing that you’ve touched somebody so greatly that they’ll always hold you… here,” She spoke, finishing her statement and bringing her clasped hands to her chest over her heart wistfully.
Suto fully appreciated what this girl was trying to do for him, but words weren't enough right now. In reality nothing was going to make this okay, shy of the impossible return of Yari. It was going to take time, and a lot of time at that, but this was a good start. It kind of felt good to finally allow the tears to fall, he felt like a bit of his anguish was fading with each drop that fell into his lap. Glancing up at Kimi as she spoke he sniffled fitfully, lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes and cheeks before giving a small nod. She was right, he liked to think she was anyways. Yari was always going to be with them, albeit not in the way that he and the others would have liked. The memory of her would live as long as they did, and perhaps even longer, she was never truly gone.
"T-Thanks... Thanks a lot," Suto whispered, smiling meekly as he sniffled once again, giving his face a good wiping on his sleeve. It was odd how quickly their tones had changed, now they were comforting one another. Perhaps a bit selfishly he realized that he had not asked Kimi what she had been fussing over. It could well be just their having snapped at her, but somehow he felt like it might have been a little more profound than that. Shyly he leaned over and put his own hand on Kimi's, giving it a patting and her a warm smile.
"If you don't mind me asking... What about you? Anything you need to talk about?"
Kimi nodded, but said nothing until he placed a hand on hers. She pulled her hand away slightly, hoping the hint was enough to keep her from being touched. At his question, she shook her head and hesitated. “Since I started here… I’ve been alone; I haven’t been able to stay with a party for more than two or three floors before they tell me to get lost,” Her voice rang coldly as she stared downward. “I’ve never been a part of the clearing group, but I’m strong… I’ve been told off for being stronger than everybody in some of my groups… Some just think I’m too controlling…” She shrugged and shook her head, “I’ve seen people die… I’ve been blamed for their deaths, as if I chose to let them die… I don’t care about anybody in this stupid place, I just need to get home… We’ve already been trapped here for too long, there’s no saying what’s happened to my family since it happened…”
"Sounds like you've been having a pretty rough time of things... I can't imagine what it must be like," Suto remarked, smiling sympathetically. All alone in this unforgiving place, it was enough to drive anyone mad. No one should have to suffer that way though. Even with friends this game was hard, so being without anyone in your corner must be nigh unbearable. Suto had a solution, one he figured the others wouldn't have any real problem with.
"You can always join us, if you want to? I don't mean right away of course. And since we're clearers it'd be awfully dangerous, but you can travel with us whenever you like." Sitting upright in his seat Suto lifted a hand, swiping his fingers to open up his menu and pull up his friends list. Once finding the girl's name, Kimigami apparently, he selected her and sent a friend request.
"That's there if you decide to join us, or if you ever want to talk," Suto explained, smiling as he stood up. "Don't worry about us turning you away like the others, we won't do that to you."
Kimi shrugged, “We play with the hand we’re dealt, yeah?” His offer caught her slightly off-guard and she recoiled only slightly. As he said that she might not join them for clearing, she did something she’d down for absolutely nobody before; her hand swept the air to summon her menu before she navigated to her stats and swpet her hand, the menu flicking around to face Suto.
“I said I was never a part of the clearing group… This game’s not really based around how strong somebody is… It’s numbers,” She said softly, “I was strong for myself.” The girl smiled slightly and accepted the request, but she didn’t take up his offer. “Thank you… Erm… Suto, but… I think perhaps it’s best that I don’t join you… for now, at least…” Her hand wiped her eyes slightly as she shook her head, “Believe me, I’ve heard that before, and as appreciated as it is, they’re only words. Nobody knows what they will do, but only what they think they won’t… We can keep in touch… But I think you and your friends should work for each other for now… I won’t be much help as you are now,” She said.
The girl rose to her feet and opened her menu, changing into a set of leather armour with a black jacket. Emblazoned on the back was some sort of red, silhouetted bird with outstretched wings. Her rapier flashed and reappeared at her side with a more elegant hilt and slightly longer blade. Whereas before her gear had been very basic and seemed on-par with the just above-average group she was with, she now wore that which rivaled even the clearing group’s. The only downside was that she had no last-hit bonus object, but it was only a slight inconvenience.
“I think, though… that I’ve been living too selfishly…” She admitted with a small sigh, “I’m sorry, Suto, about Yari… I think I would have very much liked to meet her… But, if I don’t see all of you at the boss for this next floor, you can bet that I’ll find you, okay?” Her eyes were sad and still shined with the tears she refused to shed… She was just a small teen, yet those dark eyes held wisdom beyond her years, experience in more than just some heartless game’s system.
"If that's how you feel about this then I suppose I can't well change your mind. Just know that the offer is always going to stand." Suto replied, smiling kindly. "I've seen too many people die already in this game, and for some reason I'm still alive. So long as I am I'm going to do whatever I can to stop as many deaths as I can. It's a huge mantle to take on, but..." he shrugged, chuckling lightly. Chances were playing the hero would get him killed, throwing himself into goodness knows what to help others. But somehow he was fine with that, especially if it meant his friends made it out of here alive.
Pausing at the door Suto turned to say a last goodbye, instead staring a bit surprised at what Kimi now had equipped. It wasn't any ordinary gear, pretty darn high levelled in fact. It wasn't anything gained from a boss encounter, but it was most certainly rare and unique. Without seeing the actual numerical stats themselves he could already imagine it was fair powerful equipment. Strange that this girl who supposedly played by herself was sporting such high tiered armor and weapons. Suto wanted to ask how she'd gotten it, but it seemed a little intrusive to question something like that. Instead he only smiled, giving Kimi a small wave from the door.
"The offer is still standing, and it always will. I'm always around to talk if you need someone, and so are the others. Take care of yourself Kimi." Suto closed the door behind himself, sighing and looking at it for a good silent moment after the fact. Maybe he should have pushed her joining them a little more, it would be for her own benefit ultimately. She'd been going it alone thus far, so maybe he ought to give her more credit. Either way she had his name now, she could always call on him if she needed a hand.
The girl nodded after him, “Thank you, Suto…” She said, giving a soft sigh and wave in return. As she checked over everything, she left her room and headed down the hallway.
Nero stood outside of their small party’s room, taking a short break to collect his thoughts. He was skilled when it came to emotion, he could keep himself calm under nearly any circumstance. Yuna stayed behind to be with the others and he watched as Kimi passed curiously. His brow furrowed – there was no question that she was the girl from before, but he said nothing. He recognized the material of the gear – he’d gathered plenty of it – and was a bit surprised. She’d gone from what looked like barely level twenty to what had to be about forty. He waited another minute and turned, stepping back into the room, joining the rest of their group.
Monsters in the field were pitifully simple to cut down. One after another fell to the sword, hardly any effort required to do so. Perhaps the boss was the best way to go after all, maybe then there'd be a real challenge. Doku swung his blade down in an arc, a blank expression on his face as he sliced through an orc like creature, watching as its body shattered into the familiar blue pixels. All this killing to gain power, it seemed so rudimentary and second nature now that it hardly took any thought to do. Coupled with the system handling his skills for him and the slaying of beasts was literally a mindless task. How long had he been out here in the field, he wondered? One hour? Two? At least since the floor had been cleared, he'd immediately gone on to train. His level was fair high, comparable easily to that of the Clearers, and yet he kept fighting. After all, what else more was there in this game but to fight?
Doku finally reached the point where he couldn't be bothered to train any longer, finding it so effortless it had become dull. He had managed to amass a fair amount of Col from this session, and gained a level or two overall, so it had been worthwhile. Sheathing his sword away he began the solitary walk back to town, a faint, self satisfied smirk on his lips. This money would go nicely into further supporting his guild, and in turn perhaps buying the allegiance of a few other players. By no means was his guild among the top, and the numbers were regretfully low, in part due to casualties. They had to begin recruiting soon, otherwise the guild might as well be disbanded. He needed a few good warriors to bulk up the overall strength, that would be the quickest fix.
As luck would have it there may just be someone he could recruit yet. Granted the situation was not exactly ideal, and it would require Doku go out of his way to help someone, but if played right it would work out. The boy in question he scarcely recognized, but knew full well that he was a Clearer. To have someone of that caliber in his ranks, that would make them several times over all the more imposing. Unsheathing his one handed straightsword he gave a small flick of his wrist, a smirk creeping across his lips as he darted right for the monsters. They weren't about to steal a possible acquisition from him, not if he could help it.
One second the skeleton had been looming over Fitch, its weapon poised to strike, and the next it shattered into a hundred shards, vanishing from sight. Not missing a beat Doku activated his next attack, a flurry of strikes that managed to cut down two monsters in its use. A horizontal slash took a severe amount of health out of a fourth skeleton, and a hard thrust finished that one off as well. The final made a swing for him with its curved sword, the blow being quickly deflected by Doku's sword. Sneering in satisfaction as the monster reeled slightly he took his opening, stomping down his foot and initiating his flurry skill once more. A series of rapid jabs followed by two quick slashes reduced the skeleton's health to zero, and then some. The skill persisted well after the beast was "dead", and only after it finished did the model finally shatter. In a rather quick attack Doku had easily taken out five monsters, making it look effortless. It helped a fair bit their AI was still trained on Fitch, he had a moment to capitalize on having no aggro.
"Sitting around waiting to die, kid?" Doku finally asked, not turning as he examined his loot screen, tolling up the Col he just got for himself. Smiling slightly he closed out the window, finally turning to look down at the other player, arching an eyebrow. "What are you doing that for? You and your friends just cleared another floor, you ought to be celebrating, not committing suicide."
Was he dead yet? Fitch dared not open his eyes or search for a heatlh bar... But he thought there would be some kind of message. There was a shattering sound... Was it him? No, because then he heard another. When he opened his eyes, there was a single player standing before him and not a single monster left. His fist shook as he rose, “Yes. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked coldly, “There’s nothing to celebrate. What do you think we have to enjoy here? Oh, hooray, we moved up a floor… There are a hundred god damned floors and we conquered one. We should celebrate moving along in a world we shouldn’t even be in? I’m not doing that anymore. I’m done here… So how about you leave me alone and mind your own business?”
"I think I saved your life, if I'm not mistaken," Doku replied, looking at Fitch curiously as he finally got to his feet.
Ah, so that was it then, the kid was distraught. Doku knew precisely what had happened too, recognizing the expression all too well. He'd lost somebody, this boy, and was giving up on life as a result. His hope was gone, evident in the bitter, cold wording of how he felt. Another soul, crushed, torn to shreds by the cruel world that was Sword Art Online. Perfect... This was exactly the kind of person he could make use of. Nothing to lose, no hopes or desires, and willing to die. He'd make an excellent addition. But before he could even recruit the guy Doku had to win his favor. Not that he was going to be an absolute sweetheart about it.
"This world is hard, kid, that's a fact. People die, people we care about, things are lost, lives are ruined. We're only a quarter of the way there and already so many people are suffering, and will continue to do so until the game is cleared. It's a shitty place to be, no doubt about it."
Doku looked back at Fitch for a moment, stepping forward and giving the boy's shoulder a shove abruptly. "But get this, everyone's having a shit time of things. And how many others do you see out here trying to throw themselves to the wilds? Besides us there's nobody else. Know why? Because other people aren't willing to just lie on their backs and die, they want to get back home. To the real world. Because whoever you lost in this place, no matter how close, isn't worth dying over. They'd want you to carry on with yourself, not succumb to depression and throw your life away like it means nothing. You think that's how they would want to see you in your final moments? Glum and not even putting up a fight?"
"If you really want to die, then let me put you out of your misery," Doku continued, drawing his sword. Stepping back slightly he held the blade out before switching his grip on the weapon, driving the blade into the ground. "But, if you're half the man I think you are, you won't let me do that. And if you won't let me do it then you shouldn't let some damn numbers be the death of you either. Do this person of yours a favor and live on, because you're no use to anyone dead."
Fitch's lip curled slightly in anger... Who was this guy to tell him how to live? He didn’t know Yari – he didn’t know anything. Yet, he was so detached; it was admirable. “Don’t touch me,” He snarled, “I’m not going to let anything, or anyone, kill me.” The boy rose and checked himself over, wiping himself blank as he stared at the mysterious person in front of him. “If you wanna kill me, you’ll be risking your own life too…” Their eyes met and Fitch furrowed his brow in curiosity; there was an emptiness to those eyes – it was what Fitch was out here looking for. He paused, was this man thinking of anything at all, or everything at once? “Who are you..?”
"Oh, and there it is." Doku chimed, finally smiling amused as he gestured to Fitch. "Now you refuse to die, I like that. When death seems so easy and almost welcome you still have to fight it, that's the measure of a real man, not giving into it."
"Me? My name is Doku, kid, pleasure to meet you." Taking a small, patronizing bow Doku lfted his sword up out of the ground, laying the blade flush across his shoulder as he cocked his head to the side. "I run a little guild of my own, one that I think you might be interested in checking out sometime. It's full of people like you, ones that have lost and don't see a purpose in going on. I give people purpose, and I give them a new lease on life. And believe me, I've seen a ton of cases like yours, you could use this."
Fitch sheathed his sword and shield, crossing his arms with a sigh, “We’ll see… Stay in touch – I’m not ready to abandon my friends if I’m still alive,” He said before sending a friend request over to the man. “I… guess I should get back… If I’m going to be alive tonight, they’ll want me around.”
"I wouldn't ask you to abandon anyone," Doku retorted, smiling as he accepted Fitch's friend request. "Just bear in mind, you ever feel like you need something more in your life, you know where to find me now. My guild is always welcoming new members." Swiping his sword through the air Doku then sheathed his weapon, giving Fitch a half wave as he walked off. "Take care Fitch!" he called, lowering his tone to a mumble as he grinned maliciously, "I know I'll be seeing you soon."
Several days later, while everybody had grown more wary of the world's danger as the entire air of the gorup was still somber. It would remain so for a long time, but Nero approached them with a quest that had rumours of a strong reward. With some resistance, the group finally agreed, deciding they had to move forward no matter how they felt. Fitch declined, having recently started tending to his own business and spending slightly less time with the group than he used to.