[b]Name:[/b] Maxim Bolotnikov

[b]Alias:[/b] Office Max

[b]Superhero/Villain:[/b] Superhero

[b]
Age:[/b] 26

[b]Gender:[/b] Male

[b]Powers/Equipment:[/b] Maxim can communicate with office supplies, or at least he thinks he can. Nobody knows for sure.

[b]Weakness(es):[/b] His arch nemesis, Staples, and kittens. Kittens remind him of that tragic day he first received his “gift” and cause him great distress.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Maxim is 5’7” with a slim build. He has a round face, with a strong nose and well-defined cheekbones, and striking green eyes with heavy lids. His light brown hair is cut short and brushed forward in an Ivy League style, which does not do much to disguise his rather large ears.

[b]Personality:[/b] Maxim is, in general, a kind person, though he often does not understand social cues and can make people rather awkward unintentionally. He can be a bit outspoken and typically talks in a rather loud tone. He’s a real goofball and thoroughly enjoys jokes and general foolishness.

[b]Backstory:[/b] Maxim was a mild-mannered office supply delivery man. One sunny afternoon, he was tasked with what he thought would be just another ordinary delivery job to a small business in the suburbs. Little did he know that that fateful day, he would have an experience that would change his life [i]forever[/i].

Coasting down the highway and jamming to his tunes, Maxim was too distracted by the swaying trees, the cool breeze, and a cloud that bore an astounding resemblance to a stapler to notice a cardboard box of tiny abandoned kittens in the middle of the road. A faint [i]mew[/i] stirred him from his post-lunch stupor just in time to notice the box of hapless balls of fur, and he desperately yanked the steering wheel with all his might to avoid a devastating blow to his conscience. Luckily for his conscience, the truck missed the kittens, but instead it divorced the metal guardrail from its cozy anchor in the ground. The truck careened down the embankment into the forested area several feet below, a choir of tiny kitty shrieks complementing the orchestral snapping of the tree branches and the creaks of twisted metal. Maxim felt the airbag inflate and the last thing he remembered was the coffeemaker he had on the passenger seat flying toward him from the force of the fall and barely missing his head as it landed on his lap. Then there was blackness. Inky blackness, black as the HP 51604A black ink refill cartridge.

[i]Hey….HEY! Yeah, you buddy. HEY!!!![/i]

Maxim was awakened from the anesthetized void by what he thought to be a voice. It continued calling and he looked about to no avail to find its owner. 

[i]Down HERE, idiot.[/i] He heard it call, and he instinctively looked down at his lap. The coffee maker...was it speaking to him? The coffee maker explained to him that he had been saved by an unknown power and, due to his diligence and passion for the distribution and protection of office supplies, and had been given the power to understand them. 

Maxim began to get overwhelmed with all that was happening. First a traumatic car crash, then the blessing of office supply communication, and now being stranded in the wilderness. The coffee maker, whom he soon began to call Mr. Coffee, assured Maxim that he and his other friends in the back of the truck would help him survive and pass on their collective wisdom. And so it was that Maxim spent three months at the foot of the hill, communing with the office supplies from his truck. They taught him how to survive and raised him as their own. 

After he was found, news reports swept the country: “Local man lives for three months 50 feet from the Interstate,” “Grocers hate him! Local man discovers secret to living simply,” and “Proof of life in outer space? ‘Man’ survives fatal crash and lives for 5 years on nothing but granola bars!” Everyone thought he was crazy, deciding to survive in a gully instead of walking the 30 feet to a gas station for help. Others thought he was a survival genius, living for months with nothing but office supplies. Countless outdoors-men magazines clamored for an interview, but never did he reveal his true secret. It was too absurd. Or was it?

To this day no one is quite sure if he is truly blessed with a mystical power, or if his time living in isolation, not to mention his severe head trauma, drove him completely insane.

[b]Other:[/b] Maxim has a very thick Russian accent and is actually a very soulful singer.