The rain poured down around them, the only break from the squall was the canopy above them as the storm continued; the thunder rolling through the trees as the ground shook when lightning would strike off in the distance. Sana stood there, frozen in place as she looked at Hugh, more afraid of what he would say and how he would react to her words than anything the heavens could throw at her right then. Droplets of water rolling down her features, clinging to her lashes and lips as she slowly pulled her hand back from his cheek. What she had said had not been kind, nor had it been cruel. It was simply her voicing what had been fighting within her for so long, a pain she had lived with since she learned of his past. When she had originally she was taken back, but he had helped with that fear then a little and she had decided to see what would happen over time. 

	It seemed like an eternity passed before he finally spoke and she was not sure what to think about the expressions that had crossed his face. Worry was plastered on her features as she stood there, shivering not from the cold but from anticipation. As he spoke the worry faded and a small smile broke across her lips; though not all the worry was gone from her eyes. It was still clear that even with what he had said she was still very concerned. She wished his words bought her peace and quelled all her fears but she knew that would not happen, not in one small conversation, perhaps never. She was not sure. There was still so much she was worried about and she would give anything to just have it fade away but with everything else going on and what had happened it seemed to be plaguing her like a sickness there may be no cure for. Sighing deeply she lowered her head, feeling horrible as the knot returned to the pit of her stomach. She felt so guilty for feeling the way she did. 

	“I wish I didn’t feel this fear,” she whispered as she gripped her midsection, her fingers clenching to the laces of her corset. “And what you said… It does help but I am still so terrified that you are still living in the past at times,” she said as her eyes trailed up his form and met his own. “Your flashbacks, I know they are not something you can help. You have had them longer than I may ever know and for all I know you will have them until the day you die. It is something that can’t be helped,” she said in a soft voice filled with sympathy. 

	“But every time you have one I feel like I am fighting with the past; fighting with a memory stealing you away from me. Battling ghosts to pull you back to me. It hurts to see you in such pain when they come and it hurts to think I may have to fight with that until the day I die,” she admitted remorsefully. 

	“Not that I wouldn’t. I am willing to spend a life time healing you no matter the pain it causes me,” she said with a sad smile on her lips as she reached out and placed her hand against his chest.  “You’re worth any tears that fall, any pain but you have to know that it does hurt. It hurts like hell to know part of you is still in the past, even for a moment here and there. I don’t know, perhaps I will forever live in the shadow of your past. I hope not,” she said gently as she leaned forward and rested against him, one hand slipping around to his back. 

	“You have all of me, it just frightens me to think that I will never have all of you,” she whispered as she closed her eyes.  “I know you cannot help that but please know that with as much as you cannot help it, I cannot help that it hurts.’

	She hoped he would understand her fears. She felt that perhaps she may never be a replacement that she was a bandage trying to tend to the wounds of his past. Him mentioning Ariana did not help, her mind floating back to what she had learned back at the inn. Sighing she looked up at him, it was something he needed to know. 

	“As far as Ariana goes, she will never be a daughter, to either of us,” Sana said as she gazed into his eyes, the rain that clung to her lashes falling and streaming down her cheeks. “She is already a Rawn, a cousin perhaps or perhaps even my niece,” she said before stepping back and taking a moment to explain what had happened at breakfast while he was upstairs getting ready. About the talk she had had with Ariana, about the song, all of it. “I will no more subject her to look at us as parents than you would to ask me to replace your lost life. I will take care of her as family but never as a mother. I couldn’t do that to her.”