[color=00aeef]Okay, a harpy. That was something he could deal with. Probably. No biggie. He'd seen harpies all the time on the television. They made sense. Humanoids with talons, scales, wings instead of arms, and light, hollow bones for flight. They were just like angels.

Yeah, Kyosuke reminded himself. Just think of it like that. Harpies. Angels. Fantasy novels. Put it into the context of something you're familiar with. That always helps.

This one was a lot taller than he was expecting, though. Plus she seemed a bit more, uhh... ermmm... [i]well-developed[/i] than some of the harpies he'd seen being interviewed on tv. Wait, he remembered this. She was a Raptor Harpy. He had, at one point, considered signing up for the Interspecies Cultural Exchange to study abroad ([b][i]before you were almost murdered by an extraspecies,[/i][/b] the unhelpful little voice in the back of his head reminded him), so he had to have done his research on this. They were specialized meat-eaters who'd adapted to a protein-rich diet that allowed their bodies and minds to mature past other harpies. That meant they had larger bodies with more defined muscles that could lift their bulk, but in exchange they were specialized for hunting, and... could only eat... meat...

Kyosuke shook his head. [i]No! Don't think like that! I'm sure she's just fine. I mean, she looks like she's nice enough...[/i]

"Ummm... hi. My name's Kyosuke," he said. He held out his hand for a handshake but then immediately pulled it back when he remembered she didn't have opposable thumbs. "Yeah, I like videogames. But uh, I usually play RPGs..."

That's when his second caretaker entered the room, and to Kyosuke's dismay, this was yet another thing he could easily put into the context of something else. It was just too bad he didn't like that something else any better than what he was already seeing now. 

[i]Dullahan. [b]Headless Horseman[/b][/i]

His mind raced. Head. Shoulders. Detached. Neck. Shouldn't be alive. Dead. Undead. Dead. Doesn't make sense. This didn't make sense! He was a forensics science major, dammit! He’d heard about this before but everything he knew about chemistry and biology said this wasn't possible! And it was [i]really[/i] freaking him out! And why was she pouring beer down her neck stump?!

He snapped out of it when she reached out to shake his hand. Carefully, he accepted.

"It's uh, nice to meet you... Noreen..." he said awkwardly. "Is that uhh... is that true?"

He unconsciously registered the presence of a pulse as he shook her hand. She clearly wasn't actually dead. Somehow her body was still operating without her head. There had to be some kind of explanation for this. Maybe her head could only remain detached or "on ice" for a short amount of time before it needed to be reattached, or maybe the head and the body were actually two separate organisms... There was so much they still didn't know about extraspecies that there had to be some rational explanation for this, but it would be impossible to know unless he was allowed to examine her and ask her some questions. But there was no way he was doing that!

Kyosuke heard a sort of slippery, squishing noise, and that's when his pitiful gods of rationality and logic died. With her, Fhalma the maid-slime. 

[i]Is... is that a Shoggoth?[/i] was all he could remember thinking. That and [i]She isn't even trying to pretend she doesn't want to kill me,[/i] followed by [i]Oh hey, vagina dentata...[/i]

Kyosuke’s detached thoughts were only one way of saying he was in shock. If anything here made absolutely no sense and violated every known theory of biology and the laws of physics, it was her. She had no visible brain, no internal organs or organelles, spoke without any known means of vocalization, and could transform her body into maid clothes for some reason. 

"Is she-" he barely said before being interrupted again.

[i]Oh god what now?[/i]

After a dullahan then a Shoggoth of all things, Kyosuke was expecting the worst. That's why it was almost relieving to see Ms. Smith walk out of the kitchen, even though he knew there was no possible way she should be there after watching her walk out the door. At least now he [i]knew[/i] he was insane.

"Huuuh."

Shapeshifters. That was it. That was the only explanation. One of them was a shapeshifter. It was officially all black magic and elves down here. Kyosuke felt light-headed.

"Sorry, but I think I'm checking out. Wake me up when I'm not in Skyrim anymore..." he said, shortly before falling over and fainting, his eyes turning into tiny white saucer plates. A little ghost hovered around his mouth.[/color]