I stare forward blankly in response, magenta eyes hollow with existential woe. Burning tears slowly begin to well up in their ducts and I can feel my stomach doing flips as my throat tightens with a familiar lump of sadness. My mouth twists into a sorrowful, friendly grin as it always did when I was always about to start with the waterworks, something I picked up to get people to stop asking me if I was alright if I could manage to dry my eyes before talking to anyone.
This was it. This was my life now. They're gonna haul me off to the Funny Farm. No $70k job for me when I get out, no Montgomery GI Bill, everyone's going to have to take care of me and my crazy ass instead of the other way around. I'm insane, I have no future anymore. I knew that this would happen one day, but I didn't think it would come so soon. Maybe it was the stress of trying to find a new job combined with the abuse and nonchalance of my shop...? I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore, nothing does. The reality rug has been pulled out from underneath me and there wasn't any going back. This time it isn't even cosmically funny, like how I was laughing before. It's just empty.
I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to move some of it over my eyes. I'm feeling agoraphobic. If I was wearing I hoodie I would've pulled it far up over my head, but my messy hair might just have to do.
"...yeah, sure," I croak with a sniffle, not meeting the anime protagonist's gaze as I move to shuffle back into the room. I don't like the way he's talking, or rather, I don't like what he's saying. He was pretty funny, but he was talking about my dream. Which probably meant I was projecting my consciousness onto the world around me. He also sweetly convinced me to turn around, go back into my room, and talk things out. Like speaking to a crazy person. Which means that this is the real world, I just can't interpret it anymore. My hands are tied and I hate it. I can't take to this new hallucination because the normal people will stop me, and I can't be normal because I'm fucking bonkers. I'm not even a functional human being anymore.
The room is as disorganized as it was just a moment ago, what a good first impression I've made. The clothes and glass all over the floor probably don't give me any pity points to proving myself sane. And the posters. I don't own any posters. I don't even know how to react. The weight of everything hits me and my knees give out underneath me. I brace myself on the desk for support with my bad wrist, causing me to twist a little. I was frustrated, I was pissed off, I was scared. I wanted to lash out but knew that it wouldn't do any kind of good in the end and especially now. It left me shaking and clenching my fists, hurt searing up the one of them. I knew I should say something to the... I don't even know who was in my room. It was a guy. Probably. But I knew he wasn't what I saw him as. I wasn't what I say me as. But I felt like I should say something anyway.
"...I know it's a little fucked up. I was trying to... find my track suit, and I kind of broke something," I state awkwardly. My voice is quivering as hard as I am while I try to hold it together. In futility and as an attempt to keep myself occupied and break the awkwardness a little, I begin to act. I glance over the desk as was advised to me. No cigarettes. Big surprise. Even if I was sane I might've run out, I hadn't had time to run to the store yet. But I saw something else more important. It was a manila folder with my name emblazoned across it in bold type.
The hopelessness sloughing off in a heap, I snatch up the document as if it were a C-note on the street. I open it, turning to the room and leaning my hips against the desk. The folder has inset pockets with different things that catch my eye. ID cards, a passport, a debit(credit?) card, among others. Everything within the folder was interesting, but most interesting of all was the paper. Single spaced in Courier New font. NAVMAC format with an eagle, globe, and anchor watermark. The date was my own, and the originating "From" was blank. So were the dates to an extent, listing only the month, not the day and time of publication. The subject read "YOU ARE NOT INSANE". My eyes widen and I read on.
Good morning Corporal T.,
I am writing this message to inform you that you are not insane. Everything you see in this world is as everyone sees it and no different. They see you as a purple-haired schoolgirl named Sayuri Mazawa, a 17-year old high school student and as long as you are here in this form this is who you must identify. You will be placing yourself into immediate danger should you not comply. The world you are in is not your own, it is different, and you will receive further instruction at a later date concerning your purpose here but for the moment this is all that we can let you know.
Your role as a high school student will require you to attend school, everything has been worked out ahead of time. You will find in this folder:
- One (1) Student Identification Card
- One (1) Driver's License, Minor's
- One (1) International Passport
- One (1) Class Schedule
- One (1) Student's Guidebook
- One (1) North Pacific Banking Card, Debit
All immediately important documentation can be found in this folder, items such as school supplies and less important items may be found on the top shelf in the closet. We have opened a checking account in the name of one Sayuri Mazawa, the password, account number, and pin code can be found on an adhesive not attached to the card. Your success in this mission will rely on your ability to stay relatively unnoticed fly under the radar, skills we are aware that you are in possession of.
Other individuals such as yourself exist in this building suffering the same predicament, your ability to work with them is also key to your success. All will be revealed in time. As an end note: even though we are aware of your nicotine habits, we did not include cigarettes. It is detrimental to a student's behavior and you should really quit anyway.
Respectfully,
...The signature line was blank. I read the paper over several times, look through the documents and licenses provided. I have to admit it calms me a bit, gets me from the edge of tears into something more focused. Focused and fucking pissed.
"Son of a bitch...!" I growl, whipping the folder across the room in a huff. Condescending assholes trying to get in the way of my smoking habit always pisses me off. I'll smoke if I want to, step the fuck off. I had so many questions but I didn't think any were getting answered, at least immediately. And I was still skeptical. Still a good possibility that I'm just crazy. But that wouldn't explain all these documents. I know that I didn't dream up this information and I don't have a fucking passport, either.
"Wrong," I chime to my... guest, I guess, "No smokes. Fuckers told my I should quit." I sink my head into my good hand in frustration before eyeing the young man with an eyebrow raised. Who was he? I'd figure that out soon, but I had a plan first.
"I'm gonna need you to tell me a few things. First: what's my name? Second: what woman are you talking about? Third: Where are you from?" My tone was very accusatory, as it should've been. I already knew the answer to a few of those questions. If he knew my name or told me some Japanese bullshit, I might be crazy. If he said he didn't know then I knew it couldn't be the Duty or another Marine that knows me. The icing on the cake is where he's from. The woman, that was new to me. I wanted to find out anything I could about her.