[@edgeout] I've been asked by Ambra to go over your sheet! [i]Please remember that I'm not doing this to be a jerk[/i], I just want the best character for you to come out of these comments. Please make sure your reply to these comments is also reflected as changes in your sheet. You can just edit it you don't have to post it again.

Okay! First off, please remember that a sheet is like a resume for playing in the RP. So uh, putting Missst doesn't make us confident in your sheet and thus we get off on the wrong foot.

Next is your mention of Eye Trick. What is that? Maybe just add a tab for abilities because saying Eye Trick makes me wary for a Mukuro copycat. I'm not saying you can't draw inspiration from them, but just copy pasting in similar traits from Mukuro is kinda... boring? Also I want to make sure this Eye Trick isn't as OP as it might appear to be.

Then the personality. It feels like a teaser for the character as opposed to an actual personality for him. I get that he smiles indifferently, and that people view him as dangerous. Does he do stuff that can be pegged as dangerous? Is his smile creepy? After this section I want to know about him and what he's like, and not like I just read a preview for this character.

History, just [i]give [/i]us his history. Don't do another preview for it. Putting down the history gives you notes for later, and you get the bonus of being able to go back and fiddle with small details. You can say it's shrouded in mystery and all that, but give us the truth of the matter so that we as players can get your character history so when you refer to it we get it.

[quote=edgeout]Genso understands. He can understand more quickly than anyone. He is like a chess master, that can think 5 steps ahead. However he usually keeps that to himself. Also he is not the most physically strong. His brain is his quirks.[/quote]
Read it. Out loud. It's hard to read and choppy. Also, that's not a quirk, that my friend is a personality trait.

[quote= The Dictionary]quirk, kwərk
noun
a peculiar behavioral habit.[/quote]
Use this if you need help with ideas: [url]http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/a-book-comes-to-life/articles/201094/title/characterization-50-random-character-quirk-ideas[/url]

Overview. This... gives us more information about him than in the sheet. :I
Put an abilities tab and put the information about the Fixed Eye on that place.

Try reading it out loud. There are a few grammar mistakes and it's generally hard to read. Make your sentences varied and take your time explaining things. This sheet is not only your resume but your notes for the character going forward.