1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Smashmouth - Allstar Rick Astley - Never gonna give you up Escape from the city Galo Sengen Nirvana - Wake me Up Four Blonde Hemans - What's going on 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Joseph Stalin. Praise Communism, comrade 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "– and my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba. The businessmen exit on the second floor. We have one more floor to travel." 4: What do you think about most? Arby's. Its the only food that helps my crippling depression and daily existential crises. 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? "Stop fucking texting me you creep" 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Without so I can sensually caress night intruders. 7: What's your strangest talent? I'm apparently very good at making people run away screaming "Please don't shoot me!" 8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence) girls drool boys rule 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? No. Though, I suspect "Destiny, the man who uses a strap-on knife" would be a chart topping song. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? Two seconds ago when I remembered Bill and Ted. Never Forget, Excellent 2/17 11: Do you have any strange phobias? I fear clowns. Especially myself. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? You shoulda seen those doctor's faces when they finally pulled that dragon dildo out of my nose. It was hilarious. 13: What's your height? 6'6.6 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Humping trees whilst singing the blues. 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both. I love filming myself do weird shit so I can blackmail myself. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Ever heard of "Betty White Tit Fuck"? 17: What was the last lie you told? "Don't worry. Clowno the Serial Killing Clown is totally sane." 18: Do you believe in karma? Not really. However, this one time, after I had finished feeding an entire Hershey's bar to a dog, I got smacked in the face with a baseball bat. I mean, I came away completely unharmed, but that now-dead baseball player with an entire bat shoved right up his ass really made me think about karma and its existences 19: What does your URL mean? United Racedriver League, which is funny because I don't even have a drivers license. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. 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I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. I can't go five seconds without forgetting what I just typed. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? Charles Manson 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? All the time. 23: How do you vent your anger? Usually through hookers and drugs, but this one time I vented my anger by taking a tae kwon doh course. It felt relaxing delivering a hard kick to several five year olds. I should totally do it again. 24: Do you have a collection of anything? I have this collection of photos from the nice people who live in my basement. I swear they say the funniest things. "LET ME OUT! YOU'RE KILLING US!" Oh, Jane. Such a kidder. 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting. People can't see my erection otherwise. 26: Are you happy with the person you've become? Oh totally. I used to hate myself, but now I'm totally in love with the skinny, pale-skinned individual I've become. And my personality is absolutely amazing as well. 27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love? Ever hear a cat die? Well, for me this is both a sound I hate and a sound I love. 28: What's your biggest "what if"? "What if I'm not as sane as I originally thought?" 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I've been abducted by both. The ghosts tried to lynch me because I fed this nice, black homeless man earlier that day. And the aliens pulled me out of that situation. After a nice night of anal probing, we had a few brewskis and are now great friends. I call the aliens sometimes. Apparently we're supposed to get destroyed in 2017. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Corpse. Another corpse. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? Ever smelled the blood of someone who's diet is obnoxiously high in citrus? This fucking air freshener is like that, but ten times worse. 32: What's the worst place you have ever been to? Prison was pretty terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to my parents' place at Thanksgiving. 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East Coast. I hear those dirty Westerners are filthy racists. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Betty White. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? A cold brew surrounded by the rotting carcasses of several animals I managed to hit on the way home from work last week. 36: Define Art. Sometimes I make videos of me dancing covered in oil. Of course, I'm fully dressed in ballet attire to fit in with the scene. THAT is art. 37: Do you believe in luck? No. 38: What's the weather like right now? Raining. I love it when it rains. Almost nobody is out to witness my shameful ballet dances naked. 39: What time is it? 0400 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes. All the time. The police never catch me before I slip away. 41: What was the last book you read? Mein Kampf 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? Of course. I love sniffing it in before lighting it all ablaze. 43: Do you have any nicknames? Prisoner 49-B. Don't know what it means, but I like it. 44: What was the last film you saw? Man in a Box 2 45: What's the worst injury you've ever had? One time I accidentally chopped off a finger. It wouldn't have been as bad if I didn't hide it with the dragon dildo from an earlier question. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes. Their wings make for great potions. 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? This one girl I followed home. I text her occasionally, if you remember my last text. Pretty soon she'll be moving to my basement. 48: What exactly are you wearing right now? >Implying I'm wearing anything pleb 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? "I hear he'll chop you up with his chainsaw if you make him angry." Silly bitches. I don't own a chainsaw. Several katanas, however. 50: Do you believe in magic? No. Especially not in a young girl's heart. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes. I have katanas for that, though. 52: What is your astrological sign? Cancer. Funny coincidence: that was the name of the disease that took my mother when I was young. 53: Do you save money or spend it? Spend it. I need to purchase those katanas somehow. 54: What's the last thing you purchased? katana. 55: Love or lust? lusy 56: In a relationship? soon 57: How many relationships have you had? Officially? Two. Unofficially? Several hundred. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yes. I can also reach my belly button, if I bend enough. 59: Where were you yesterday? Meeting the people who live in my basement 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? This old, slightly bloody dress. 61: Are you wearing socks right now? No. I'm not wearing anything 62: What's your favorite animal? The dolphin. 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Aphrodisiacs! 64: Where is your best friend? Basement 65: Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr. All five of them make porn, so no. 66: What is your heritage? African, European, Spanish, or Asian. My mother didn't know when she was alive. She said she let the whole squad hit it. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? I was at this girl's house. Hiding in her closet. 68: What do you think is Satan's last name? Snufflebutter 69: How do you look right now? I look like a sexy manbeast with my skinny muscles, grey skin, shriveled and dying hair, and my extravagantly crooked teeth. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Oh totallu. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Let the dog drown, grab his body, beat my boss with it for being such a cunt. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? No. I would do everything I would normally do. And I wouldn't be afraid, because death owes me a favor after I saved his wife. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. I put them together to make lust. 74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? All Star 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Don't know. This is a throwaway phone. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? A basement that doesn't let noise in. 77: How can I win your heart? Ten bucks and some lube. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? No. That's a fucking dumb question. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Quitting my therapy sessions. 80: What size shoes do you wear? Shoes are for pussies. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Eh doesn't afraid of anything 82: What is your favorite word? Penis 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Penis 84: What is a saying you say a lot? "GET DOWN ON THE GROUND OR I WILL FUCKING SHOOT." 85: What's the last song you listened to? Wake Me Up 86: Basic question; what's your favorite colour/colors? I was diagnosed with color blindness. I can only see red. You fucking ableist. 87: What is your current desktop picture? A picture of my dancing oiled up. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Carmen Sandiego. Then we'll finally know where she is. 89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? "What's in the basement?" 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Fuck them with my knife strap-on 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Time stopping, so I can be like DIO. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The point before this shitty quiz so I can know what the fuck I was thinking. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? This shitty quiz. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Betty White 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Taiwan. Age of consent is real low there. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? My pa. My bro, who is also my pa. And my grandpa, who happens to also be my uncle. 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Everytime I get in one. 98: Ever been on a plane? No. But if I get that plane ticket to Taiwan... 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? "PENIS!"