[@Obscene Symphony]

Fear not, all you must remember are these important facts:

The Pharaohs ruled all
People built big ass pyramids to store dead people and not grain
There was one mofo named Tut who shows us what happens when you go to war under the influence
There was that Cleopatra chick who even the Romans tapped dat ass for
Something something Ramses, something something Horus [s]Hearsay[/s], something something SO. MUCH. FUCKING. SAND.
Mummies are for nobilities only.
The British learned what happens when you fuck with the Valley of Kings
The Pharaohs jacked off into the Nile once a year in public.
Oh and those cool ass scythe swords. And chariots. And then the Assyrians came in and fucked them up before the Romans did it too.

[s]I am totally well up to date on Egyptian history and could teach it at a college level.[/s]