Well I don't really see anything wrong with your character.  I actually used it as sort of a counter model, I was going for a different kind of bounty hunter, and one with less experience.  

I would suggest posting a new interest check in the general section, with all of the new info, plus both of our characters posted in it to show examples.  

I also would suggest a proofread now that it's all in one form.  In fact, if you'd like a set of fresh eyes you could copy/paste the whole thing with formatting(copy from the editing interface to keep format) into a google doc where I can take a crack at it, then use that version for the new interest check.