[@Terminal]
 Thank you very much for the review. This was a first time for me, and I appreciate the thoroughness of your review. I will definitely be joining the next contest here with everything you said in mind.
  Most of the errors in my story probably resulted from the fact that I wrote the story the day before the deadline (I found out about contests the day before), and I didn't even read over it before sending it in. I hope that next time I can weave a tale that is pleasing in both its structure [i] and [/i] its story. Thanks again!