Mortal fool you call me? Have you ever fought in a battle for the multiverse? Have you gone toe to toe with blood soaked juggalos armed with nothing but a spear? I have gone to rob banks with a crew of intergalatic criminals and left alone with a fortune, I've courted vampire queens and bested creepy pastas in single combat.

Granted I can't make pancakes or apple pie, but I have made cupcakes with the help of pink equestrians after curing them of insanity.