Jane’s face reflected her understanding and attentiveness to what Rob was explaining, and for the most part, she agreed with him. Although he was playing it off, Jane knew him too well – her words hurt him. The one thing she was trying to avoid in the first place by telling him how she felt. 

[b]”That wasn’t so bad, was it?”[/b]

She looked at him and forced a smile. He was right. They were talking like adults, being open and vulnerable, not screaming at each other or avoiding one another. It was, however, extremely out of character for him to be so optimistic. Perhaps he was sparing her from feeling sorry for him. But, in reality, that was not how Jane perceived things at all.

Instead of continuing the conversation, she squeezed the hand that held hers as if to say she acknowledged all that he had told her, and in a slow, fluid motion, she laid back down next to him. Was it wrong to do this to him – to lay so close to the man who just professed his unrequited feelings for her? Yes. Jane wasn’t dense. But, she [i]was[/i] selfish in the sense that she would always absorb the comfort she craved, even at an inopportune time. And at that time, the one she found solace in was Rob.

And as she laid on top of him once again, his warm body underneath her small one, another feeling rose up inside of her. That maybe his affection [i]wasn’t[/i] unrequited. But Jane’s pride matched her selfishness, and she decided that she couldn’t backpedal now, so instead, she rose quietly and kissed his cheek before returning to her spot and closing her eyes.

The last emotion before she drifted off was the overwhelming sensation that she had possibly just made a huge mistake. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Due to turning in earlier, Jane’s eyes began to flutter before the sun started rising, and after a few attempts to force herself back to sleep, she accepted that she was awake for the day. She tilted her head up slowly to see Rob still deep in sleep, and a sigh escaped her. The ball in her chest that had formed last night was still there, a deep, heavy weight that made it hard to breathe.

She rose slowly as not to wake him, and as she stood and stretched, her eyes lingered on him, hoping whatever damage her words caused him wasn’t permanent. 

After exiting the room quietly, Jane made her way back to hers to shower, change, and grab her longboard. Going out and riding around at 6:00am seemed to be the only resolution in her mind for clearing the thoughts she was having, since it was too early to drink or find anyone for mindless fun. But that sparked another question in Jane’s mind – what does this mean for the rest of the tour? Would it be wrong of her to sleep with someone else? Was he going to sleep with someone else? She basically shot down the notion of them trying to be together, but the thought of seeing him with someone else again was a depressing thought within itself. [i]”Damn it.”[/i]

Jane’s scarred, thin legs pushed her down an empty downtown area as her board hummed on the asphault, and [url=https://youtu.be/txJhnTwzDtE]Reflection by Balance and Composure[/url] played loudly through her ear buds, a cloud of smoking pouring out of her mouth as she sang along to the lyrics.

If Jane had already agreed to be honest with Rob, would that mean she’d have to come clean to him [i]again[/i]? Were these feelings even real, or were they just a product of the conversation they had last night? Nothing seemed clearer to her. If anything, she made things more confusing for herself. She did, however, find a small sense of satisfaction with herself for fighting her urges to do something regrettable with him last night. Her physical attraction to him had been growing day by day, and she nearly had a moment of weakness as she laid with him in his bed.

The sun was beginning to peak over the eastern skyline, and Jane decided it was time for her to return. Her stomach was growling, and she desperately needed coffee. The day ahead was not planned out; their next three shows were in New York City, an eight-hour drive from Raleigh, and could all be done tomorrow. She was almost nervous that they weren’t going to be preoccupied as it’d either leave her with a lot of time with her thoughts or [i]with Rob[/i].

When she arrived back at the hotel, Jane saw that the breakfast had just been put out, and after making a plate and a cup of coffee, she plopped down in a chair at an unoccupied table and picked at the eggs in front of her as her head rested on one of her fists. Maybe the situation would work itself out on its own.