You're now the deranged wizard

======> What? No!
Unforunately that is who you have been chosen to be at the moment. 

It's quite miraculous really, that out of all the trolls on this wide planet, you've stumbled upon her

=====> Enough

Very well. 

Now, if you have not noticed, this young troll is without a name. You should input a name right now

=====> [Schizoid The Clownass]
Nice try, Jackass; Unfortunately that name is not acceptable, so you'll have to try something else

=====> [Maluuk Telima]
It just so happens that that name is correct! And out of all the potential ones you could have chosen. That in itself is pretty miraculous, don't you think? You must be a seer or a fortune teller.

=====> Enough with the Magical Miracles
Fine, Fine. I suppose it's time to introduce this young troll anyways.

Your name is MALUUK TELIMA, and you are a wizard. You spend great amounts of time hidden away in the reclusive reaches of your SEA SIDE HIVE doing such important actives such as STUDYING ARCANE MAGICS and CASTING HORRIBLE DARK SPELLS. When not studying the ARTS OF MAGIC, you can be found OUT IN THE FAR REACHES OF THE ALTERNIAN WILDERNESS searching for the RUNES OF CIVILIZATIONS PAST. As a result of the prerequisite knowledge that one must have in order to properly excavate a dig site, your room is littered with HISTORY BOOKS. You are well versed in Alternian history and can recite by heart the activites and tactics used in such riveting battles as the GREAT LOW BLOOD UPRISING two centuries ago in a far eastern part of the world. As well, you can spot an artifact's age and time period by eye, as you have a SHARP MIND when it comes to identification. When not going on digs, you can be found consuming UNGODLY AMOUNTS OF SUGAR, usually in the form of delicious SWEET BAKED GOODS AND SODA. Some say your declining diet is affecting your behavior, but what do they know. 

What shall you do today?

=====> Burn down your hive and dance like a maniac around a stuffed bear sacrificed to the great moon goddess
It's probably not a good idea to burn down your hive. Even if you wanted to, you're sure that Wendigomom would never allow you to do so, and stop you if you even tried. As well, you're certainly not going to sacrifice a stuffed toy to any moon goddess. You're not a blasphemous nonbeliver, and would never fall to such a depraved act against your beloved messiahs. 

=====> Go for a dig
That's an excellent idea! You'll need to make preparations for the trip ahead. 

=====> Find some food
You captchalogue some delicious sugary food, a Strawberry Cake with Grubcream Frosting and a large bottle of nutritious sugary Faygo

=====> Get your archaeology pack
Woah there! You can't afford to lose this. You won't be captchaloguing this, just wear it on your back. See, your sylladex is rather, unreliable. For the most part, you can rely on it, but it has a nasty habit of...deleting items that you captchalogue 1 out of 6 times. Not that you mind, you trust that if the messiahs decree that you cannot have an item, that it is in your best interests, but...some things that are too valuable to put up to chance stay out. Your archaeological equiptment stays in your backpack. 

=====> And your lucky hat
Your hat has been placed onto your head. You never go for a dig without it! You enchanted this nice little piece of headwear not too long ago. 

=====> Ready to Go!
Not just yet!

You'll need a weapon before you go out. In a place like this, you never leave the house without one. 

=====> Neat! Get the most badass weapon you can find!
You place you trusty umbrella into the strife specibus

=====> Umbrella...?
Of course, what else would you use?

====> Whatever, let's just go already
You just have to do one last thing before you leave

=====> Ugh...
It's important! You have to relay a message to someone important. She always worries about you when you do this, for good reason. It's her job to keep tabs on you. 

=====> Relay a message to this important person
Logging onto Trollian, you contact a user by the name of CrystalConnoisseur. You'll leave her a nice little message, and take your mobile with you to respond if she happens to contact your while you're on your dig. 

=====> Go To the dig site already
Alright, Alright! No need to get so testy. You just want to grap some spare make up so you ca...

=====> NOW!
Fine! You depart from your hive, with your archaelogical provisions to go probing around at a local megalithic structure you found not too long ago. You suspect that there may be some interesting artifacts there

The walk is quite a ways away, so maybe you should be someone else while you're making the trek to the site

=====> Enough of this crazyness, be someone else