Again, Noah listened to what Elann had to say, eyes on her all the while. She took his hand saying she knew he loved her but that it hurt her to hear him talk to her in such a way, hurt her to hear how he felt about her when she voiced her concerns. It made her not want to say anything at all, but was that his fault entirely? He shouldn’t talk to her like that, she said. He should never hurt her in anyway, whether he meant to or not.

Noah withdrew his hand from hers, pulling it into a fist so that she couldn’t have it anymore. “Stop asking me to lie to you,” he said. “You accuse me of not having love or compassion in my words, and while they aren’t exactly compassionate, that doesn’t mean there isn’t love in them. It would be dishonest to not tell you what was on my heart, but I’m not going to soften my words just because you think there isn’t love in them. You aren’t in my head, and I can’t help how you interpret my words, but I’m not going to lie and tell you what you want to hear.”

“I said I didn’t want to say your worry was dumb because it wasn’t dumb, but I didn’t know how else to feel about it. I was being honest! Do you want me to lie to you?” he questioned with a deep crease of his brow. “This is civil, this is honest. I haven’t yelled at you, I haven’t intentionally tried to hurt you, so stop it! You felt like I didn’t like what you were saying because it was the truth! I’m not going to pretend I like what you’re saying when I’m don’t, I’m sorry.”

“You tried to mention my sister and mother to make an example out of them, but you hardly know them. Did you ask them how they felt about acting human all the time? You didn’t, did you?” he shot in hushed angst.

“I doubted your love for my true side because I don’t understand how you can love something you hardly have seen and interacted with!” Noah said, huffing from his nose. “I didn’t give you my bond until I felt like I knew you enough to do that. I can count on one hand how many times we’ve been together with me like that, with me being an animal.” He shook his head, one of her points making him particularly annoyed. “I didn’t call you impatient! I was just asking for a little consideration on your part for how long we’ve been together. You took it the wrong way.”

“You felt that I was annoyed with you, because it was true! I was, and I still am annoyed with you, Elann,” he retorted. “I was frustrated already by that point. You asking for my patience didn’t do that. Am I not allowed to feel annoyed, frustrated, and confused?”

“You are not a cage to me, but you can be annoying, Elann. You can be frustrating, Elann. You can be very, very confusing, Elann,” he explained. “I tell you these things because they are true. You can be them to me, my mother can be them to me, and Aimee can be them too. [b]Everyone [/b]can frustrate, annoy, and confuse me, just like [b]everyone [/b]can annoy, frustrate, and confuse you. You can’t stand here and tell me you have [b]never [/b]felt that for anyone or to me.”

“Like I said,” he said, quieting, “I am sorry if my words made you feel that way, and I’m sorry that you feel that way towards them. Yet, like I said, that wasn’t my intention.” He drew a big breath and heaved it out. “I don’t know how you’re not supposed to feel hurt by that; I am not you. You know you’re being annoying when I tell you. That’s why I’m telling you, Elann, so that you know!” He seethed a grunt of frustration. “I know that you were being loving – you’re always loving – but, what you were saying was annoying me. That doesn’t mean your love annoys me, just the words that you said. That is not your fault, just like my words making you feel this way isn’t mine.”

Whether she was looking away or not, his gaze bore into her. “Do you want me to lie and tell you that every single member of my family is going to like you?” he asked, humming to cement the question. “I’m not going to do that because it is untrue, it is dishonest. I’m sorry that you felt crushed by them, but I cannot take back what I said. It is out there, and you have already felt that way.”

“I should never hurt you ever, you said,” he repeated, looking at her. “Do you understand how ridiculous you sound? If that’s the case, you should never hurt me either, Elann, but you have! What kind of hypocrite are you?” he spat in mounting anger. “I can’t control how you feel! I can’t, so stop acting like I can!”

“The one time I stay here to have this conversation with you, you can’t take what I have to say. You believe it’s unfathomable for me to have emotions of annoyance, frustration, and confusion. That’s being human, isn’t it? Having these emotions towards anyone, right? You know, so far, even before we were married, I’ve felt like you’ve blamed everything on me, or on being Benshira, or on Yahal’s rules. When have you blamed yourself for something? Stop making me a villain!” he shouted.

Noah clicked his tongue in irritancy, looking away from her finally. He muttered an obscure Fratava phrase in his annoyance. After a moment he took a breath. “It’s always about how [b]you [/b]feel,” he said. “You assume all these things about me without asking because you’re afraid of how I’ll react. I got annoyed with you because you keep making these assumptions or speaking in falsities that make no sense.”

He looked at her again. “Aside from now, when was the last time I asked you to change anything? I appreciate you helping me act more like a human, but you expect me to never get frustrated? You expect me to never get annoyed or confused? How unrealistic can you be? You want me to feel emotions, but you only want me to feel certain ones for you, but that’s not possible. You just sound like a hypocrite when you ask me to be more emotional, but at the same time ask for me not to feel certain ones for you.”

“I can’t believe you, honestly. I apologized to you, but I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not going to hide what I’m feeling because that’s what’s in my heart, and we promised to say what was in our hearts. We promised! Now, you want me to break that promise because you can’t handle what I have to say?” he questioned rhetorically.

“I won’t,” he spat. 

"You're not even listening to me. You're hearing everything that sounds bad to you without looking at everything else. That's annoying because if you just listened to me, this wouldn't be a problem. I've heard what you were saying, and I've said what I was thinking. Don't make me seem bad because you can't take what I'm saying. That's not my fault," he said, much quieter than everything else.