Noah set his teeth around his tongue, thinking. The cord connecting his heart to Elann’s glinted softly in his mind against the darkness. The cord had recently been repaired by Elann’s loving hand, and he all too well remembered how crushed and hollow he felt when Caesarion had torn their bond asunder. It was a wound that had been healed but the scar was still there, a dull grey mark on the gleaming silver of the thread. It was further down the way, telling of his growth with Elann. He wasn’t sure if he could suffer another break like that, and so he had conceded. The stress put on his bond because of their arguing was enough to translate itself as palpable tension in his person. It affected him greatly, and he didn’t want to risk another break in the twine.

The Kelvic had hoped that the conversation would shift but it didn’t, Elann’s pleading voice coming to keep it around. Noah looked to her and tried to see the brilliancy in her eyes, and the bright glint that could reside in his could not be found without a little searching. He showed her a small smile of reassurance and shook his head.

“I just don’t want to fight anymore,” he said softly, “that’s all.”

It was a true statement. He wanted it to be over so that he could have the person he fell in love with, his bondmate, back. It wasn’t that she was gone, she was still there in the way she was sending compassion his way, but he did feel as if it was his own behavior which caused the rift between them. His mind said otherwise; it was her misunderstanding of him was what was the cause of the rift, and her assaulting and then withdrawing behavior that served to confuse him all the more.

Noah felt as if his bond was endangered by their fighting, and even if he did win, the victory would be too bittersweet to bring him any sense of peace. The bond would remain strained. He could foresee as much, and the last thing he wanted was for it to be broken or stressed constantly. He couldn’t play this guessing game of Elann’s position, her meanings, and emotions without causing himself trouble because it would erupt into more fights. He wouldn’t be able to take it in the long term, and in the short term it would drive him insane.

Noah brought a hand to his head and tugged on one of his curls idly, a rushing breeze coming from his back full of comforting warmth from Zulrav. He felt his deity in the air now even though the skies remained mostly clear. There was a cloud above that caught his attention and, as he looked up, there was an intense familiarity to it. He recognized it as Zulrav and found comfort in that. Sometimes, he thought, the wind had to stop when it met walls. The rain could be blocked out by roofs, thunder could be dulled behind stone, and lightning could be ignored when one’s eyes were closed. That’s what his god’s presence told him.

“I’m sorry that I made you cry,” he said to Elann, looking at her again. “I love you, too.”