Standing there in front Of Erik while she tried to compose her thoughts, Maddy's mind was racing a mile a minute.  She wasn't sure what to say or do and even if she really wanted to say anything at all but she hated how she had lashed out at everyone and wanted to make some kind of peace at last.  She could not face Sarah right now and Micheal was too odd for her to know what, if anything, to say to him.  As for the new girl, Teres, well she would apologize to her later in private when Sarah was not around.  She took a grounding breath and looked at Erik before dropping her eyes.  She could not look him in the eyes and say this.

Shuffling her feet, Maddy said, "I am sorry about how I acted earlier.  I wasn't upset with you or anything rally it was jut everything got to me at once.  Sarah always knows how to get me riled up and I just lost it.  I have issues with people getting in my space and being touched without permission and a lot of other things too unfortunately, which is why I am here.  I also am not too experienced with boys and the way you act being so self-confident and nice but kind of vain too, no offence intended, makes me uneasy.  I am not sure if you like me or want to just be a friend or what.  I like to have clear cut boundaries since chaos kind of kills me.  I know I am rambling so I will shut up now but I am sorry for what I said to you."

The silence while she waited for Erik to reply was deafening in it intensity.  Without realizing it she started to rock back and forth on the balls of her feet.  She was reminded of a time at home when something similar had happened.  She had been 12 at the time and her one and only friend at the time had come over to spend the night.  Ellen had been an outgoing girl that for some reason had taken a liking to Maddy.  To this day, Maddy still did not know why Ellen had wanted to be her friend.  Maddy was fairly quiet, and withdrawn and had issues with trust and boundaries and other things as well whereas Ellen was someone that everyone talked to and was a part of all te school activities.  It did not make sense that they would become friends but it had happened anyways.  That night, her parents had gotten into an argument and Maddy and Ellen had heard them from upstairs in Maddy's room.  Maddy had gone downstairs to see what was going on and if possible get them to quit.  When they saw her they had turned on he and started to yell at her for interrupting and basically just living.  When she couldn't stand it anymore she had run back upstairs while they continued to fight.  Ellen had only asked Maddy what was wrong and Maddy lost it.  She started to yell at Ellen and had been terrible to her.  Ellen had waited until she had stopped yelling and then told her that she was going home.  After that night, Ellen and she had spoken less and less until once again she was alone.

[color=silver]  This is not the same as back then.  In fact, he hasn't even said if he is my friend or not.  I may just be that weird girl that he pities and that is all.  In fact that is probably right.  I know Sarah thinks that I am strange and likes to make me miserable.  I bet he will turn out to be the same way.  I will not have anybody here that will like me either.  I always have to do things that make people hate me.  Why can't I seem to stop.  [/color]

Shivering a little, Maddy continued to rock back and forth.  Unbeknownst to her, she had started to make a soft whimper like sound.  In times of stress this seemed to happen to her.