Fucking Wizzlebee, man. 


So Septic called my bluff. Here is a non-comedic version of Pietro's impressions: 

[hider=Pietro Machelli] 

[b]Karkadin: [/b]I've travelled all over Tithe, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Doraks are some of the most fun creatures you'll find. This one seems like a bit of a hard-ass, though. Wonder why. 

[b]Theresa:[/b] I've heard of the Red-hairs before. They're a weird bunch, but apparently they're gifted warriors. I'm sure that hottie's not better with a sword than I am, though! Perhaps I'll challenge her to a duel sometime. Maybe I'll even let her win to win her favor. After all, what does swordplay rhyme with? ...On second thought, hell if I'll let other people see me lose to a woman. 

[b]Kane:[/b] Kane seems like a good guy, but he's too much of a good guy, you know what I'm saying? I feel like my every move is being judged when he's around. Everyone is so smitten with him that it's like he walks under a brilliant ray of light! OH, HAIL KANE, LORD OF THE DOWNTRODDEN and all that bullshit. I'll have to take him down one of these days and show the others who the real champ is. 

[b]Wizzlebee:[/b] Jesus christ that guy is creepy. I swear he was staring at me for about ten minutes the other day! I don't know what his deal is, but I just get an overwhelming sensation that he's stalking me. 

[b]Ben:[/b] HOLY SHIT! That thing is HUGE! I swear it's twenty feet tall and the ground shakes when it walks?! Where did we find that thing? In a cave?! I'm glad he's on my side! If I saw a giant lizard man running at me across the battlefield with a meat hook in his hands I think I'd wet myself! 

[b]Arya:[/b] Ari's definitely got the best personality out of this bunch, and she's the one I've known the longest. We started travelling together a few weeks ago. I thought of trying to pull some moves on her, but with Anna around and the sun was always at a really weird angle and, well, I couldn't get my hair just right and...gah. What do you mean I'm blushing? I'll cut your tongue out if you ever accuse me of that again you damn craven! She's just another damn girl, like all the others! She's not special! 

[b]Shux:[/b] Now this is my kinda guy! He's jolly, conceited, and hold a ton of liquor! I've always wanted to travel with a bard! That way he can sing of my exploits while I kill people! 

[b]Kathleen:[/b] Ooh la la! Now THIS is a girl I wanna get to know personally, if you know what I mean. I'm a sucker for a southern islands chick. Bright-eyed with that awesome sun-kissed body. If I don't get her in bed I'm gonna go nuts! I will say, though, the whole cloak thing's a little weird. I have a few theories about it, but I'll keep my mouth shut for now. 

[b]Royce:[/b] Another do-gooder, but Royce is much more tolerable. He doesn't have that kind of halo that Kane does and he has  more of a personality than "I'LL GIVE MY LIFE FOR TALBOR!" He seems pretty capable on the battlefield too. Not more capable than I, of course, but he'd be a solid second or third. 

[b]Vyri:[/b] A peasant, great. I have to go on a quest with a damn peasant. I mean, I guess I *do* need someone to clean up after me. it's not like I cook and clean when I don't have to, after all! I don't know why she wears that ring all the time, though. Doesn't she know it'll get dirty in the dishwater? 

[b]Anna:[/b] I tried getting with Anna once. She squeezed my internal organs. I puked rainbow-colored vomit for two days. She's cute, but she needs to lighten the hell up before she gets back on my good list. I guess she's useful, at least, but not useful enough for me to tolerate her bitchiness. Maybe she'll get eaten by a dragon or something... [/hider]